Wednesday, 25th April, 2018

Wasseypur Tongawalas Pre-Order Google Glass

14, Sep 2012 By khabrilal

The tongawalas of Wasseypur have welcomed the new innovation from Google called Google Glass and have pre-ordered 1000 of the same by sending a pigeon to Lahari Phage home with the order details. Wasseypur is a popular town in the state of Jharkhand and is well known for a variety of pigeon who use single wing to fly while using the other to cover their modesty. Browsing about google glass on their iphone4S with BSNL 3G connection, Surdas Khan (khan not pronounced with epiglotis), chairman of municiple council got very excited and immediately fired three rounds in the air, which was a signal for the municipal council meeting to be convened at 3 pm the next day. The municipal has overwhelmingly and unanimously passed a resolution that google glasses is ideal for wasseypur tongawallas. all the tongawallas of wasseypur are very excited with this new development. “O ka hai, kee log hamka samajthe hain backward. ab humhoon ee google glass hamar ghudwa ke aage fit karwa denge aur forward ho jayenge. ab hamar sawari bhi tonga mein apna facebook status update kar sakat hai aur apna safar ka video turanta hai youtube pe upload kar sakat hai. Isse hamar sahar forward ho jayee”, chirped Besanti, one of the most popular female tongawallis of wasseypur.

The tonga union of wasseypur has chalked out a detailed training program for all the tonga drivers. as per the latest information available, the horse and the driver, both will sport a glass each. The tonga glass will continuously scan the surroundings and transfer the details of the same to the LCD screen fitted at the back for the passengers benefit. also, the glass will help the passenger know the ETA for his arrival and he need not ask the driver, “bhai kitni der aur lagegi”.

The glass attached to the driver will scan the passenger and will provide the driver info about his previous visits to wasseypur, his likes, social network friends etc and the same data will be uploaded in real time to the police headquarters. this will help police nab criminals and tongas will not prove to be safe havens for them. using the driver glass, two passenger in different tongas can do google hangouts and this will make the journey pleasant for the passengers.

however baalu parsaad, a well known leader now in semi retirement, has criticized this madness and thinks that this is a great conspiracy of the west to capture and loot the wealth of wasseypur. he said that “ wasseypur is an ancient and holy land. here people have eyes who can look inside people souls, then why do we need these stupid glasses. west will use these glasses to know where all the money is there in wasseypur and then they will send army from above the sky to loot our wealth”. reliable reports say that he has also ordered for these glasses so that his people can find out if there is still scope for eating some more fodder.

but one of the worries of police department is the worry of theft of these glasses. they have asked google to mark each of them with a unique RFID tag so that it is easy to trace in case of theft. also given the large potential for theft and then black marketing of these glasses, they are planning to set up a dedicated call center to report such thefts. faking news has learnt that the call center number will be 1-800-glasses.

Surdas khan explained that the pigeon sent is one of the best and will use both wings to fly as soon as it is out of the municipal boundry of wasseypur. asked whether the pigeon will be able to find the house of lahari phage, he laughed and said, “ae burbak, tum hamaar kabootar se nahin mile ho na. wasseypur ka kabootar GPS ka baap hai. ooka ek baar kisi ka shakal dikhai dau, apne aap hee pahunch jaat hai”.

when asked about how the large money will be collected for this new gadget, he said that his friend hawala singh will arrange for payments in US and whenever he is coming to india, they will settle the accounts.

Lahari Phage of google was excited to hear this news when contact by faking news. This proves that the world is beautiful when seen through our glasses. Given the large order, google is planning to open a dedicated service center for the glasses in wasseypur.

Bnurag Jhakshap, a well known resident of wasseypur and an acccomplished filmmaker is planning to make a movie on this landmark phenomenon called glasses of wasseypur.