Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Vyapam scam declared more dangerous than Ebola by the WHO

06, Jul 2015 By dashy

Geneva: The World Health Organization has declared the Vyapam Scam in the state of Madhya Pradesh as one of the most deadliest and contagious diseases to ever hit the Indian shores. The Officials have gone on record to say that Vyapam is even more dangerous than Ebola.

The WHO officials, under anonymity, have claimed that the Vyapam Scam have claimed more lives than Ebola ever did, in India and is not just confined to one state but can carry itself over borders into neighboring states like Maharashtra.

With, allegedly, more than 40 deaths linked to the Scam, it is also one of the most contagious scams as anyone who even mentions the Vyapam Scam is found dead.

“This is a very dangerous virus, I tell you”

Top Reporters are planning to stay away from this news.

Arnab Goswami was reportedly heard commenting that he is happy with #LalitGate than being found lying still under some Gate.

Madhya Pradesh Chief Minister Shivraj Chauhan has issued firm health warnings to everyone to not take the words Vyapam and Shivraj in the same sentence. This has been identified as the main cause of the disease spreading.

The BJP, however, is busy assembling a team of Speakers led by Sambit Patra, to effectively counter any debates which might arise on this particular issue.

The Special Task Force of Loudmouths will ensure that they will deflect any questions that come their way with a three point defense strategy.

1. Ebola claimed more deaths than Vyapam Scam

2. Nobody will resign

3. Who is WHO?

PM Modi is also planning a feel good campaign for the country’s masses where he will be requesting all the people to take a picture with their admission forms and tweet #SelfieWithMeritList and try and trend it.

Since, #SelfieWithDaughter has effectively eradicated all the Women’s Woes in the Country, perhaps trending this Hashtag will solve the Vyapam Scam problem too.

Disclaimer: Any more information on this issue will not be found in future, since our reporter who got us this news appears to be missing since the time of submission of this article.