Saturday, 24th June, 2017

Virtues of Virginity: BJP’s new Anti-AIDS campaign

30, Jun 2014 By Lunatic509

Delhi: The new campaign named Virtues of Virginity was launched by honorable Health Minister Dr. Harsh Vardhan to curb the AIDS menace in India straight from America. He wrote in his website that Sex education will lead to sexual promiscuity as Karate Education leads to fighting on streets, and frequent Fire Fighting drills in IT companies lead to incendiary. While troublemaking NGOs harped on their usual immoral tunes, world’s largest peace loving NGO, RSS refused all allegations of their involvement in this decision.

Since Salman had said that he was still a virgin, he could be roped in to promote the campaign.
Since Salman had said that he was still a virgin, he could be roped in to promote the campaign.

The new campaign will highlight the virtues of virginity, chastity and fidelity among Indian children through school education. “After all prevention is better than cure” said a BJP spokesperson, “there can be no AIDS if there is no sex.” The campaign will endorse “Forever Alone” and “Friendzone” memes in social websites, of course in Hindi. The government has decided to give free laptops to virgin men and women in pursuing Bachelor Degree with videos of ancient yoga practices already downloaded in them.

Different sectors have provided different opinions on the issue. While condom companies are deeply troubled by the call for fidelity, indigenous hakims have welcomed it by painting new ads on railway lines on buildings and walls.  “Sex education in schools will make children aware of all things they are curious about and will decrease the consumption of Sabita bhabhi magazines” said an academician from Delhi University on his way to protest against the FYUP in Chandni Chowk. While a set of BJP also wanted to ban porn websites which provide much sought after sex education, two BJP MLAs from Karnataka have put forth strong opposition against it.

“We are also planning to ban sex education from Biology books to prevent the embarrassment of giggling girls caused by ogling boys in co-ed classrooms” said Dr Vardhan snubbing all allegations that his government is planning to introduce subsidies in dowry to promote arrange marriages which uphold ancient Indian values.