The Sickular India Consortium (Krantikaari) abbreviated as SICK, has recently filed a PIL with supreme court terming the much hated advertisement of Vimal Pan Masala showing a renowned actor virtually doing nothing but smearing shredded plastic looking like saffron on a girl’s cheeks jovially as “Communal”.
SICK is the intellectual wing of all secular parties in india, headed by Mr.Gandhi who recently returned from a retreat in an unknown destination in Asia.
Presumed to be kidnapped, SICK leaders had also promoted a digital campaign “Corrupt file not found” in order to trace the secular leader. Luckily, Mr.Gandhi returned just in time in order to launch a scathing attack on Vimal for being communal.
The leader said, “It was only the third time they rant a prolonged Kesariyaaaaa in the advertisement that we decided to label it communal. It hurts the sentiments of other communities just like Beef ban hurts the sentiments of those consuming beef. “
Vimal spokesperson was unable to comment on this issue. “We had noticed a large chunk of the saffron brigade who go on smashing theaters and art galleries to be regular consumers of our pan masala. Hence the logic of the ad came in our mind.”
Other kesari terms like “Punjab Kesari”, “Kesari bhaat”, “Kesar kulfi” have also been notified in the SICK monthly gazette of being communal and people have been advised to use something ending with “gandhi” while using those terms, just like many of our airports roads and hospitals end with gandhi.
“Gandhi Chana” sellers have been certified to be non-communal and many have been individually nominated for bharat ratna by the SICK organization.