Bangalore. In a dramatic development Vijay Mallya was arrested in Bangalore this morning. The police sources were tight lipped about the exact location from where Mallya was arrested, other reliable sources indicate that Mallya was arrested near a multiplex where Kabali was being released.
Speaking on conditions of anonymity a highly placed source from the top echelons of Indian Intelligence agency has claimed that this is a major coup planned about 3 months earlier that has now come to its successful end. According to him, Mallya cooped up in remote London was restless as he was not getting his full dose of entertainment. In consultation with Rajini, 1000 free tickets for Kabali was offered to Mallya to enable him to watch the movie any number of times in the company of his calendar girls. In coordination with MEA, a famous General took off in a C130 aircraft from Delhi yesterday to London and landed in Bangalore early this morning. After dropping off Mallya and his friends the General safely landed in Delhi. According to the General the attention of all prestitutes were diverted to Dalit issues deliberately and even RaGa was put to sleep in Lok sabha as a result. It was widely suspected that RaGa will get tipped off from an intelligence official and may fly to London to meet poor Mallya and share food with him.The General profusely thanked a prominent lady politician from U.P. for her contribution in this operation.
Though Mallya was arrested it was not possible to produce him before a magistrate to seek police custody since all the Courts have declared holiday on account of Kabali Darshano Utsava. It was Thalaiva who once again came to the rescue. He said that all the judges were inside the multiplex watching Kabali and during the interval the police can get the remand for Mallya’s custody. When last reports came in the Police were waiting for the interval to do the needful.
In the meantime ex Kingfisher employees have announced that they are willing to forego their salary dues in lieu of 10 tickets of Kabali for each employee.
Sagarika in her usual style tweeted “ Why was Zakir Naik not offered 1000 tickets for Sultan? Is Modi secular?