Friday, 23rd March, 2018

Valentine’s Day: Relationships resume normal, love takes backseat

15, Feb 2013 By Ishan Bhatkoti

NEW DELHI: Life in different cities of India is resuming back to normal as Valentine’s Day celebrations come to an end. Most of the couples who were ready to die for each other for past one week are again ready to kill each other.

Metro stations and other break-up and make-up points also reported a steady rise as couples, singles and mixed singles resumed their daily ritual of waiting for their partners and friends who were separated during the Vaalentine’s week.

Universities and colleges were also reporting a steady rise in attendance as students began migrating back to classrooms from other hot ‘low-pressure’ dating spot and in offices, reporting mangers are filing less complains against employees who lie and give clichéd excuses especially during and around Valentine’s week. However, the damage caused by ‘cyclonic’ Valentine winds is quite large.

Over the past one week, private agencies had been issuing warning by sending pestering SMSes and about the approaching danger. Meanwhile Twitter was also abuzz with V-Day trends and as per the latest data available, most of the relationships died on the Kiss Day and Hug Day. The killers are mostly girls who used either denial or a slap. In some case, even a punch or Ghoosa was also used. There were few cases of Dart frog poisoning among men who reportedly tried to kiss their girlfriends on Kiss Day.

The report also highlights the cases in which girls were the victims. Boys either introduced them to their rival Valentine partner or their phone was continuously busy or switched off. Many of the boys were also caught hugging and kissing their ‘back-up plan’ which resulted in tears, and other hysterics followed by “I am sorry baby” phone calls and text messages.

FN had previously reported about clash between protesters who couldn’t find even one couple in the park. A senior police official said, “Since protesters couldn’t find any couple so that they may declare them as brother and sister, they instead declared themselves as ‘bhai-bhai’ and started fighting.

“This was a very different kind of Valentine this year. We didn’t see much protest. VHP, BJP and others finally accepted that youth doesn’t listen to them so why waste energy and instead take their wives and girlfriends out for shopping on Valentine. The newly opened Starbucks in Delhi was among the hottest spots for dating and more importantly, this time, both boys and girls used new methods of rejection, cheating and other humane ways of declining any proposal,” experts said.

They also said that the couples who so far used to go the parks realised that going to the malls doesn’t cost a penny and hence they tried a new dating spot –Malls- this time.

Meanwhile, bachelors took bath early, on February 14, and spent the day by worshipping singlehood, enchanting the famous hymn ‘Grapes are sour’ and doing social service by pepping up their friends who were ready to step out in the Valentine’s Day storm and consoling who lost their love in the storm.

Aniket, 24, who is still a bachelor and was consoling his friend said, “I believe I am much happier when I am answerable to anyone. Go anywhere, do anything. It’s such a relief that I don’t have to answer phone calls asking for “Kahne mein kya khaya? Kyun khaya, Kisliye khaya… ye questions to meri mummy bhi mujhse poochti hai.” It gets even worse when you are bombarded with questions like “Tum uske saath kyun the? I called you tumne phone kyon nahi uthaya?” etc. Importantly, my mobile phone bills haven’t shot up like that of others. I am glad I always remain in a state of lending money rather than borrowing it.”

Another boy who recently embraced singlehood said, “Mera to sab kuch lut gaya hai. Itne phone ke recharge karaye uske, itne gifts diye, gharwalon se fees ke naam pe paise liye the ki valentines pe gift dunga, par wo to Hug Day par hi break-up karke chali gayi.”

Experts believe that more the money better will be your Valentine’s Day. Of course there are exceptions. More money means more purchasing power and this is common protocol. You have to form a base of freebies and gifts for your girlfriend. Also, accepting everything as your mistake and apologising for anything and everything is equally important else your plans may backfire just like your relationships whose success rate always dwindles in single digit.