Tuesday, 22nd August, 2017

UPSC takes action to bring inclusiveness

06, Aug 2014 By strangefellow

Delhi: The central government which is facing the wrath of the protestors, has announced a series of measures to bring inclusiveness in Union Public Service Commission (UPSC)’s  Civil Service Examination(CSE). While announcing these measures union minister Jitendra Singh listed out the proposed changes:-

Students protesting against elitist nature of UPSC
Students protesting against elitist nature of UPSC

  • GoI will distribute the copies of Wren and Martin to all the protestors. Moreover these books will be available to all candidates at subsidized rates at all PDS(Public Distribution Shops) shops.
  • We also request protestors to watch “Coffee with Karan” to take some lessons in verbal communication skill. This show will now be aired on DoorDarshan at 10 pm.
  • For lessons in quantitative aptitude, we will distribute R S Aggarwal in all the institute of higher learning, especially those offering courses in Human “Sciences”.
  • This solution by central government has attracted a lot of reactions from the stakeholders. Opposition leader Mr. Yadav smashed the government and told that, “From last 67 years, we are unable to include all sections of society under PDS, how come this new government will do that in one year? Moreover, even the Wren and Martin, and R S Agarwal are available in English. How are we going to learn from that? “

    On the condition of anonymity one sophomore pursuing sociology from Delhi University told this reporter that, “We are heading for Agarwalisation of services. If you look carefully, in the past three years, two of the toppers are Agarwal. Even the chairman himself is an Agarwal, and so is the man who was before him. Moreover, now our government is recommending us R  S Agarwal. This is too much, and we will oppose this, tooth and nail. We don’t need mathematics to tell us that we have aptitude , as if mathematics is a real science. “

    Coaching classes taking note of the situation has recommended their students to watch Bollywood gossips and to read Page 3 from The Times of India, as it will be of dual benefit. Firstly it will improve verbal communications, command over language, accent(in short how to fake it) etc. Secondly, it will improve general knowledge about Indian culture, even if they don’t have any, aren’t showing any, and aren’t really proud of any.

    Blasting the announcements made by the government, one protestor really punched the hole, through government’s logic. He said, “First of all we are provided with books, that are written in English. Secondly, they are not providing us any key. From where are we going to ask for answers?. And lastly, seeing the efficiency of PDS, I have left this preparation, and now I will prepare my son for this exam.”