Saturday, 18th November, 2017

Updated traffic rules released

03, Feb 2015 By electroman

Here are the updated Traffic Rules which will be coming to effect soon.

TrafficPolice
“Stop, why are your driving so slow”

  • Always wear helmet to protect your elbow or rear view mirror.
  • Always use indicators while turning, it doesn’t matter which one. Just pick one.
  • Do not turn off indicators for at least 1 km after making the turn.
  • Use freakishly powerful lamps in your headlights (Should be slightly less powerful than Laser)
  • Never, ever, ever use low beam anywhere. Just burn the retinas of oncoming morons.
  • Drive as fast as you can when you are going on the wrong direction in a one way road, that should scare those idiots (Use laser headlights if necessary)
  • Open your car door with your eyes closed, immediately after you stop it in the middle of the road. You have four of them anyway.
  • Carry TMT rods, steel pipes and other sharp objects in small autos. Let’s recreate Final Destination 5.
  • Spit paan or throw banana peels outside the car only when driving above 100kph. Includes empty water/cool drink bottles, Cigarettes(lighted),
  • Make a full namaskar at a passing Temple/Church/Mosque, do not attempt to touch the steering or handlebar while doing this. If you have time perform a small puja.
  • Honk relentlessly at signals, then only the light will turn green.
  • Always keep an eye on both sides of the road for Dirty movie posters, Girls etc.