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Union budget promises to hunt down tax evaders with drones and satellites

10, Jul 2014 By swaroski

The first Union budget of the new BJP led government has promised to introduce some unique measures to locate and punish tax evaders.

Taking a cue from the recently launched PSLV-C23 rocket, it has been established that locating and hunting down tax evaders is now very much a possibility.

Drone
Beware!!

Tax collection is one of the biggest headaches of the Indian government with only about two percent of the population paying taxes. “With a major chunk of the population purposefully evading taxes, tax collection is the biggest threat to the country. It is a bigger threat than terrorism and pornography,” reminded a very charged up BJP leader. With Mr. Narendra Modi open to new suggestions, it seems that technology can go a long way to search and destroy potential tax evaders.

It has to be remembered that India has the capability to launch satellites, as recently evidenced and also to build and operate Drones, proved by its successful launch in Aamir Khan’s movie, ‘The three idiots’.

It is expected that the Aadhar scheme along with the PAN card, driving license, Ration card, Passport, college I card, VAT no., TAN no., credit card, debit card, Gym membership card, Kindergarten card, etc can be combined with the Drone and the satellite to accurately pin point a tax evader. Several intelligence agencies like the Mossad, KGB, ISI, CIA and MSS have been dumbfounded since even they don’t have spy agents that can manage and maintain ID proofs of such variety.

It is only because of this, we are told, that the Indian government has finalized plans to locate people through spy satellites and hunt them down through drones. Whenever a spy satellite finds someone buying heavy quantities of petrol, diesel, movie DVDs or music CDs, branded underwear, they will be hunted and pursued. Also, morning walkers found wearing jewelry, carrying latest I-phones or attending Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s lectures will be chased. It is not known whether the Drones would carry weapons of mass destruction or simply spray Holi colours like a pichkari.

“We have developed special colours that even the best detergents can’t wash away,” said a scientist from ISRO with a beaming smile. This ‘Narendra Modi tax bachao yojana’ will surely go a long way to nurture good tax paying habits among the Indian public. For all the tax evaders, the Tax Men are coming soon. Box office collections for the government are sure to pick up.