With Valentine’s Day round the corner and while the buzz had already begun, Faking News conducted a survey on what most of the single men tend to do on the V-Day:
1) They cry after listening to all the love and romantic songs played in FM. To make things even worse, even the Ads in FM are about valentine’s day or about the offers on valentine’s day. While some prefer to listen some heart broken songs and they fall in love with the song instantly.(Reports show that songs like “Tum Hi Ho” or “Teri Meri-Bodyguard” are most listened or shared during this time).
2) After they see people buying roses on the road, they curse them that they’re the reason for traffic jams. They even wish that they die before giving roses to the loved ones. When they’re behind a couple on road, they tend to Honk badly and they almost control themselves from not hitting them.
3) They remember that one particular friend from college, who is stupid, ugly and was a loser back then but has a girl friend now. They curse him including his mother and sister.
4) This is the only day when most of the single men support RSS, VHP and their policies and talk probably volumes about how great the Indian culture is and how Valentine’s Day is not a part of our Indian culture.
5) They try to remember that young girl in 5th grade who was interested in talking to them but that “EWWW GIRLS!!!!!” kind of attitude screwed that. They cry after knowing that she moved on with someone else.
6) They change the status in whatsapp to “Single is Awesome” and they share Ayn Rand’s quotes about loving oneself more than others. They like only those posts of the one’s who are single and this pattern will continue for about a week.
7) They claim that Narendra Modi had acheieved greater heights in life just because he had no wife and they attribute all the development of Gujarat for the reason that NaMo didn’t have some one who texts “AWWWWW BAABYYYY I LUV U”. They even take people like Ram Gopal Varma an inspiration and tell how adorable he is by not loving anyone and by staying single.They start following him on twitter on feb 14th and unfollow him immediately after getting annoyed by his tweets.
8) Taking out the frustration by watching educational videos of Sunny Leone or Kim Kardashian stored under the folder “D:EducationOthersAngles of Geometry”
9) Leads and Managers who are single tend to give more work to those who are in a relationship. They find evil pleasure in asking employees to stay for a status call where discussions are all about the food in cafeteria or when will Salman bhai get married or when the guys planning to drink again.
10) Most important of all, unlike any other days, they call their Mom’s even before she does and say “I LOVE YOU” in a way everybody notices them. They pretend in front of others that they too have someone to love and they give their Mom a kiss too on the phone leaving the mom at the edge of heart failure for such untimely behavior.