Monday, 18th December, 2017

Tomato Rs.100/kg, banks celebrate

28, Jul 2017 By MrIndia

Reserve bank chairman Patil thanked the tomato market for taking the price of tomato to Rs.100/kg in India. He said the bank thieves have shifted their attention from Banks and ATM machines to vegetable shops for their heist. Since the time the price shot beyond Rs.40/kg no attack on ATM machines or bank robberies were reported.

Joining this celebration were the AIADMK ministers in Tamil Nadu. They proudly announced that tomatoes are not being thrown at them anymore. They also requested the markets to increase the price of eggs to Rs.2000 per dozen.

Reserve Bank of India now trades in Tomato too, along with Gold and Silver
Reserve Bank of India now trades in Tomato too, along with Gold and Silver

Popular TV Channel CNN kept their full focus on tomato market and ignored the insignificant hacking report of NEET. Mirror now continued its assault on the censor board for snipping unparliamentary words in movies. NDTV cameras were directed towards Bihar government coup. The communist online blog Scroll.in wrote about tomato “the colour is red, same as our party”. The leading communist news media The Hindu opined in its editorial “at least the other red vegetable carrot is at Rs.90/kg.”

The rightwing communist party BJP said “people need not shed tears over red tomato. They can use red chili for the same colour and effect”.

AAP leader Kejriwal said “Jethmalini and tomato both give me tears”.

Bangalore NGO for residents welfare wrote to Karnataka Government “rotten tomatoes are better than your rotten performence”. Karnataka CM Siddaramaiah sulked “if people protest over everything like we can’t deliver results. They can give up vegetables and eat beef!”

Congress leader Rahul Gandhi said “I knew this three months ago when I was in Thailand”.

Tax minister Arun Jaitley beamed a smile “Higher tomato price will increase GST revenues paid by the useful idiots citizens!”. He went on “perhaps we must imprint an aadhaar number on each tomato, to make sure everyone is taxed”.

Prime Minister’s office released a memo “Tomato is a foreign origin vegetable. To investigate this the PM will take another tour of America next week”.