Thursday, 29th June, 2017

The controversial "Intelligence Briefing": How it really happened

09, Jan 2014 By wiseguysam12

After the Delhi Police revealed that LeT had indeed tried to recruit the Muzaffarnagar riot victims, the Intelligence officer who had briefed Rahul Gandhi came out with more details about the controversial briefing. Here is a brief description of the events from the only human who was present at that meeting.

Rahul: Tell me officer about the security plans for our country?

Officer: Sorry Sir, I am not allowed to disclose any such information.

Rahul: How can you stay silent knowing fully well that Sauron has assembled his forces and his next target is Delhi?

Officer: Is Sauron a metaphor for Narendra Modi?

Rahul: No, Sauron the evil lord, the holder of the one ring, I am talking about that guy. Plus, now he has the support of all the Narnians.

Officer: The imaginary place Narnia?

Rahul: What imaginary? It is real. I have done my Masters degree in the Narnian mother tongue at Howard.

Officer: In the movie they all spoke English Sir.

Rahul: That was to fool us. Did you see the captain of their force, a bull. Tell me there is no sinister hand of BJP behind this??

Officer(holding his head): I have no idea Sir.

Rahul: The best part is, we have the elder wand with us. My mother is the owner ever since we defeated Atal Ji in that election of 2003. And the invisible cloak is with Robert, so we need the third thing now to be invincible, what was it I’m forgetting..

Officer(now completely bewildered): What drugs are you on man?

Rahul(Pacing fervently): Do not disturb me, the communal forces have always wanted me dead and this is just one more of their sick plans, but I plan to attain the escape velocity of Jupiter and not die like my grandmother and father.

Officer(tearing out his hair now) Please, no more torture, Diggy Ji, open the gate, I have 2 small kids, in the name of humanity let me go.

Digvijay Singh from outside the room: Give us some real intelligence and only then can you meet your kids, else I will let Rahul tell you the whole master plan 2020 of Congress to you…

Officer(finally humiliated and dejected): Fine, I give up, I will tell you everything you want to know.

And that is how Rahul really came into possession of that sensitive information.