A serpentine queue, comprising hundreds of women, was seen snaking its way from Connaught Place to Robert Vadra’s residence on Rakshabandhan eve. Sources said that all these women were here to tie Vadra rakhis, as they feel he is the best person to guarantee them social security as of today, not to mention ‘financial assurance’.
“I have been reading about Robert babua’s exploits in the papers,” said Chameli Devi, who had come all the way from Moradabad, Vadra’s hometown in Uttar Pradesh. “We have been having a property dispute in the family and we are cash-strapped too – I thought why not tie him a rakhi! As a brother, he will be more than happy to support me,” she beamed.
“Besides, from what we’ve been reading, he seems to have enough to support half the country already,” another woman butt in, “so, playing brother to a few hundred women will not hurt him.”
However, Robert Vadra is not the only new brother in town. We have been hearing of equally long queues outside the residences of Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja and Pawan Kumar Bansal. In all these places, destitute women have queued up with rakhis, in the hope that these men-in-power will do them some favours on this auspicious day.
Even politicians have joined the fray! Last we heard, Mayawati is planning to tie a rakhi on Manmohan Singh’s wrist, so that she can unabashedly ask for his support in winning UP back. Mamata Banerjee has purchased the simplest rakhi in the market, in keeping with her philosophy of non-ostentation. She plans to put it on Ratan Tata’s wrist to woo him back into Bengal, automobile plants in tow. And Sushma Swaraj is tying Narendra Modi a rakhi, with the hope that when he becomes PM, she will get a sizeable portfolio to handle.
In the middle of all this, it seems Rahul Gandhi has gone into hiding. When our reporter tried to locate him, we were told he has flown out of country on an ‘urgent’ assignment. While that by itself sounds laughable, we’re pretty convinced he’s hiding under his four-poster bed out of fear of being dragged out by over-enthusiastic girls wielding rakhis.