Sunday, 25th February, 2018

Teacher farts : Students call for UN intervention for use of deadly chemical weapons

07, Sep 2013 By ankitparmar

Gone are the days when use of Corporal punishment made news or attracted ire of the parent community. Teachers today are laced with a more potent and lethal weapon:  use of Chemical weapons.

In Ahmedabad, 3 students fainted and are currently in ICU after an attack by their school teacher. Recently a Teacher did the unthinkable; he used chemical weapons to torture the students for non-completion of home work.

With already ill ventilated classrooms packed to its full capacity and with students stinking just after a free lecture it was too much too handle for the weak auricles- ventricles and lungs of those 3 ill fated students.

The mood is intense at the school premises with the class monitor calling for a “bandh”. They have set up a Dharna (after effects of watching Satyagraha) outside the school. Most of the teachers also joined the agitation as they found it as a good break as against the normal irritating work that they have to delve into.

When interviewed by Faking news he said “It was a normal day at school and we thought that Jay Patel our English teacher would as usual let us go with a warning for no homework. But as soon as he realized that we had not done our homework, he looked tense and uneasy, his hand on his belly, turned towards the board and then farted which lasted for about 23 seconds.”

Ankit (class monitor) has called for UN intervention for use of Chemical weapons against children. With the backing of US he seemed confident of world support and taking on the Russian protest. He said the Russians should recall the deadly effects of Chernobyl, Japan the Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the Jews of the Concentration camps. He called in for the event to be a national tragedy second only to methyl iso-cynaide of Bhopal Gas Tragedy.

Jay Patel (Teacher) when contacted said “I am as pure as Asaram and I had no such intention. I just had 23 samosa’s with green chutney for warding off my evils early morning.  The students should have fallen at my feet and called me father brother” He was not aware that the fart lasted for 23 seconds and said he would contact “India’s got talent”, “Limca records” and its likes for the same.