Saturday, 21st April, 2018

Suicidal man travels to MP and repeats "Vyapam" three times to a journalist, both found dead

08, Jul 2015 By RT

Bhopal. A man with a suicidal mission travelled to MP and got himself engaged with a journalist for an unprecedented suicidal interview prior to breathing his last. As the fate would have it, the interview turned out to be homicidal for the journalist too.

Faking News reports the excerpts from the interview, just before both the men involved were found dead. As the deaths are investigated by SIT, the man will be referred to as just a man and the journalist as journo.

The big question mark
The big question mark

Journo: Tell me! You want me to interview about your suicidal wish and your mission to get that accomplished in the state of MP. Right? Man: Come on! Have a little finesse! Yes. I want to commit suicide. I have nothing to live for in the world. Have tried a few attempts in Mumbai like picking up a fight with few auto drivers; eating packs after packs of 2 minutes noodles and drinking nothing but bottled pesticides and like hell, even tried sleeping on a pavement when some famous Bollywood actors went out on nightly drives to drink water in pubs. Nothing worked. That’s when I decided to travel to MP for committing suicide.

Journo: How can you achieve that in MP, which you cannot do easily in Mumbai? Man: Are you even a journalist? I am reading about this scam in newspapers and scores of natural deaths for whoever is found to be associated with the scam. It is an interesting bit for me to know, as I think I have finally found the right word for me to say out loud, to die instantly.

Journo: What is the word? Must be one of those, ending with a ‘Gate’. Man: Not bad for a rookie journalist! But, no, this scam does not end with a ‘Gate’. By the way, I am sick of this journalistic tradition of calling all the scams in India as ‘Gate’ and all the movie industries as ‘Wood’. In US, certainly they are not calling the president’s home as ‘Whitehouse Bhavan’. Know what I mean?

Journo: What is the word? I am losing patience. Man: Not so fast young man! Your life is at risk too, irrespective whether you have a death wish or not. Now I have said it: ‘Vyapam, Vyapam and Vyapam’. Run for your life! The man reportedly smiled sarcastically at the Journo when he repeated the words.

Faking News later found the man and the Journo to have been reported dead of natural causes. Both have suffered severe cardiac arrest, apparently unable to withstand the pressure of one of the most controversial suicidal interviews in recent times.