Saturday, 24th June, 2017

Sudden rain and pleasant weather causes mass hysteria in NCR

16, Jun 2014 By Darpan Saxena

New Delhi. After a strong heat wave, people in NCR got the shock of their lives with the sudden rain and pleasant weather today morning. There have been unconfirmed reports of people panicking, getting hyper, waking up delusional and even getting fainted on the first sight of rain. Mass hysteria has spread throughout NCR with people running naked on roads in rain.

Scientists have been unable to find an explanation for such behavior.

A family, which was spotted driving frantically in their car around India Gate in circles for two hours , was detained by Delhi Police. They were all found to be sleepy, scantily clothed and expressed surprise on their being at India Gate. After third degree methods, the head of family Bunty confessed that it was his plan to make the most of the good weather before sun played spoilsport.

Red Fort, Delhi
Delhi was suffering from heat wave so far

With the AAM Aadmi not able to handle the rain at all, we reached AAP office to seek reactions from self-proclaimed Aam Aadmi Masihah Arvind Kejriwal. We were forcefully stopped from entering and when we did get in after much resistance, we found Arvind Kejriwal in a bizarre condition with his foot in mouth and shouting “O Sit, O Sit” frantically. When quizzed, he spoke to us on the condition of anonymity, “I was all set to get some footage with my meeting with PM Modi on the issue of power crisis. But this pleasant weather has spoilt everything.” Last heard, he was seen practicing gulatis outside Jantar Mantar.

Union Power Minister Piyush Goyal was seen entering the Pagla Baba Ashram in the wee hours. He thanked Pagla Baba for the “Megh Anushthan” that was being carried on for the last week in secrecy. He exclaimed, “Though I was trying to sound legit and announcing measures and all for the power crisis in Delhi, this shit was the real thing. All hail Pagla Baba”. Pagla Baba, who is currently lodged in Tihar on the charges of pickpocketry in a DTC bus, chose not to comment.

PM Modi in a press conference attributed the rain to the “Gujrat Model”. PM: “We welcome the rain. This is because we have invested in Solar energy in Gujarat”. FN Reporter: But how does that explain the rain sir? PM: “Kya agar man me ichhha-shakti ho to hum barish nahi kara sakte? Ek Sau Pachhis crore bhartiya agar than len ki Dilli me barish karani hai to unke koi rok sakta hai kya?” FN Reporter: But sir, how does that …??? PM: “Are yeh barish to kya cheez hai, hum sachhe man se chahen to kya nahi ho sakta!!!” FN Reporter: But sir, how …??? PM signed off with his famous slogan “Sabka Sath, Sabka Vikas”.

Despite our best efforts, we have been unable to decrypt the hidden meaning in PM’s response and have approached Mr. Amit Shah for the same. Our reporter has been detained on the charges of asking the same question thrice to Mr. Modi.

Meanwhile, in a shocking claim on India TV, Jumman Miyan, famously known as Bhurj Chacha for his anda bhurji in the Paharganj area of Old Delhi, claimed to witness the entire rain, from start to finish, with his own eyes. He has given the credit of this feat to his nutritious anda bhurji. The sale of his bhurji has skyrocketed after the claim. Also, there are unconfirmed reports of sudden rise in food poisoning patients in a nearby hospital.