In what could be the greatest achievement of mankind since Rajnikant’s gravity defying stunts, an engineering student from a prestigious university has found the evidence of chicken in the chicken curry served in the university mess.
As reported to news channels worldwide, Nutan, a computer science major who had problems finding bugs in his buggy programs, found the evidence in one of his numerous selfies, titled “enjoying
chicken curry” which he posted on facebook. When asked, he attributed his success to the new Retina display his iPad has, “When I saw the pic in my old smartphone, I just saw a blur, but in the new iPad with retina display, I could clearly see the chicken leg”. All this instant stardom has led to a sudden surge in his number of facebook friends, which has prompted him to change his fb status to “Ab ki baar panch hazaar”.
His proud parents, who had disowned him since his class-10 grades came out, had this to say: “After he failed to get a perfect 100 % in his Class-10 exams (reportedly he got a measly 99.9%), we disowned him and went into hiding thinking what sharma ji(our neighbor) and his neighbors would say about his grades, but now that he has proved his critics wrong by his recent discovery, we can finally face the world again. All this would not have been possible without Jhumpa baba’s amulet.”
Interestingly, the biology department was at loss of words to confirm if it was chicken or not, even after looking at numerous chicken anatomy charts dating back thousands of years . Some of the Professors were so embarrassed, that they decided to renounce their PhDs, and start over all again. Seeing the inability of the Biology department, the Dean and director have approached the Archaeology Survey of India, to find out if the piece is indeed chicken or the fossilized remains of it’s ancestors.
On the positive side, the lack of chicken in the chicken based preparation has encouraged many students to start preparing seriously for GRE/GMAT so that they can apply abroad, and enjoy some chicken. Class attendance seems to have improved after the food kept on deteriorating, along with the student’s marks.
Mr. Arvind Kejriwaal od AAP met the students and assured that there were will be a dharna, and blamed the Gujrat model for it, although the students tried explaining him that the college was not in Gujrat. In his own charismatic way, he proclaimed, “Yehi toh scam hai, isi ki toh jaanch karni hai” and “Dhoka hua hey ji Aam Aadmi ke bachon ke saath”.
The university authorities have taken serious action by removing the catering agency, and giving a tender for hiring other catering agencies, prompting Rajnath Singh to happily exclaim that the change was due to the Modi-wave. Some students even claimed that they saw him in the mess dancing and chanting “acche din aane waale hain”.
Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi promised that he would empower the women, and when informed that this was completely irrelevant in the context, he left with his infamous grin.
Strong opposition seems to be coming from the cleaning staff Chandu, who claims that he built his entire
house mansion from the stones he found in the rice, which the mess authorities were using.