New Delhi: State authorities across India have been receiving a sudden, constant and ever-increasing influx of urgent name-change requests from people named “Rahul”.
The applicants have all applied under the urgent scheme and are demanding a new identity for themselves immediately. It is told that the authorities, taking stock of the situation have cancelled the holiday leaves of their employees to meet the demand and have to take help from other government departments.
“Rahuls” are protesting outside offices and are refusing to buzz until they get a new identity and all their educational and personal credentials issued with the new name. Para-military and emergency forces have been called in numerous cities across India to keep this developing situation under control.
It is well known, that “Rahul” has been the most coveted name in India once “Vijay” got a bit older and got himself in bank’s bad books. Last 20 years, parents have invariably chosen “Rahul” as a safe option. And those lucky ones who already were named “Rahul” hogged the limelight and were charm of their gangs.
“Rahul” first shot to fame and became an ultimate symbol of romanticism, heroic courage but still “dil se Hindustani” due to efforts of kkkkk… Shah Rukh. It had the magnetic affect that would pull girls, so many undeserving chimpus got the hottest chick just because they were “Rahul”! SRK today morning tweeted below picture when he heard this news.
Then “Rahul” got a major boost and emerged as an epitome of sincerity and hard work due to Dravid. Parents would fulfill their kiddie Rahuls’ all demands knowing that once their Rahul grow up, he will fulfill all their dreams and be their ideal son!
All “Rahuls” across the nation had their glory years, when every girl wanted to date a “Rahul”, father of every daughter wanted a “Rahul”, if possible an NRI! Parents wanted to name their son Rahul, and all non-Rahuls were so jealous of them. Such were the glory days of Rahul!
On the present situation, our khoji reporter from New Delhi reports that this recent anti-Rahul phenomenon is reportedly due to Rahul Gandhi’s recent prominence on the national stage.
Due to endless jokes on him and his constant supply of dumb appearances, mindless speeches, stupid one-liners he has become the most viral thing on the planet. Many “Rahuls” confided to our khoji that people are now calling them Pappu, they are so embarrassed! Their once-so-loving wives are ashamed of going out with them and equally helplessly ashamed are their once-proud parents and in-laws! With real Rahul expected rallying for Lok Sabha elections in coming days across nation, and his mouth wide open blabbing his fundas, the Rahuls of the nation are fearing the worst!
As per the last bit we received, there have been SOS calls from state governments to Central government on the situation and now it has been confirmed that RaGa is on his way to file a name change request for himself to “Raul” and all major and minor publications tomorrow would carry his declaration and an appeal to nation that “Raul” is not “Rahul”.