Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Special fairness cream hits the market today, promises changing black money to white money in 3 days

04, Nov 2014 By manithan

Mumbai: The famous hair and skin products company Sumami has released a new fairness cream today.

After releasing a series of fairness products targeting both men and women, the Sumami company has now hit the market with its jackpot product.

Speaking at the release function, Sumami’s CEO, Jack Pitt, said, “Our company’s 90% profit came from Indian market few years ago. Most of the dark Indians wanted to be light dark, light dark wanted to be light fair, light fair wanted to be more fair, more fair wanted to be most fair and the most fair wanted to look like dead pale. Yet, with the introduction of competitors in this fairness space, we were struggling to receive even 50% of the market profit. We were scratching our heads, even after applying our own anti-dandruff shampoo, to find out any new and innovative product.”

Adjusting the mic, he continued, “When we were on the verge of giving up, we read about the Black Money issue ricocheting the corners of India. We thought that, after their passion for white skin, now Indians are feeling that their currency should also be white. We understood their passion and so, within a span of one week, our R & D team spent sleepless nights and worked hard to find out the formula to convert black money to white money.”

Sumami's posters across cities and in newspapers first page, about their new product, Black To White
Sumami’s posters across cities and in newspapers first page, about their new product, Black To White. The company used Euro because most of their customers had their black money in European banks.

Then the stage turned dark to reveal a fairness cream packet being placed in a raised platform and a circular light shone on the platform. The voice of Jack Pitt came back, “Sumami is proud to unveil its new fairness product, Black To White, to the eager Indian audience. You have to apply this cream on your black money three times a day and then wash the money with hot water. Trust me, in three days, if your black money does not convert to white, we will get the product back and will return you the money you gave us for buying this product. As per our sales & marketing team, this product has registered 2.5 lakhs pre-release orders. This is a bigger reception than Apple products usually get. Thanks to everyone who had ordered and will buy this product.”

Then, he played an advertisement, where a businessman was worried about his black money, visits Sumami office. The in-house fairness expert, then advises him to use Black To White and shows him how to do it. After three days, the businessman is seen partying in club with good looking girls and with the police.

Before the release function could get over, there was a lengthy queue outside supermarkets and beauty products retail stores. People were seen pushing and threatening others ahead of them in queue to get their “Black To White” cream before the stocks run out.

One such person in queue, said, “I have been waiting here for the past three days, without even taking nature’s call. My business is worth 3 lakhs per day. And I have lost 9 lakhs till date. Why? Because I have stashed 500 crores black money in various places. Before I get caught, I need to turn them into white. It seems the noose is getting tightened around black money holders. So, I have to buy this cream and change my black money to white money.”

Meanwhile, activists have started an online campaign “Black is Beauty” and is spreading the message in social media with the hashtag #TakeSelfieWithYourBlackMoney.

Shilpa, the activist and the brain behind this campaign, said, “People scorn at black and smile at white. This trend should change. If Indians start hating black money now, then they will also start hating Black color. This is a dangerous trend. So, we have told black money holders to come forward and take selfie with it. They should shred their shame and come to the light. They should not be booed for having Black money. This is a economical apartheid.”

Investigation agencies have welcomed this campaign and have urged black money holders to take this campaign in serious manner, posting their non-blurred and non-shaky pictures that shows their faces in clear light.