Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Software engineer resigns because of AAP

27, Jan 2014 By gireesh

Bangalore: A Software engineer, one of the thousands of Aam aadmis of the city, suddenly shot to fame as he quit his job and closed his Facebook account on the same day.

This is a startling turn of events, as he is now without his primary occupation that is *SharingOfImagesWithQuotesThatNeitherSeemRealNorUseful* and secondary occupation(his salaried corporate job) on the same day.

Since India is losing in New Zealand and the Russian hotties are out of the Australian Open, we at Faking news had nothing better than to chat with this guy. ‘Sab ki ek hadd hoti hai yaar’, begins the frustrated former Software engineer and lets off all his frustrations in his first exclusive interview to a mainstream media source.

*Start of Rant* How many AAP jokes do you think a sane person can tolerate in a day? There are so many people in my office that seem intent on only talking about Arvind Kejriwal and AAP. Kejriwal here, Kejriwal there, Kejriwal everywhere. There are also the other group of people who steal Kejriwal jokes from twitter and pass it on as their own. When will people realize that copying from Ramesh Srivats is not safe at all. His Facebook wall has more people than the number of users of all VC-backed Indian e-commerce Start-ups combined.

I am really sick of it. Last week, I was walking to pick up coffee and a colleague jumps in to say, “You know why Kejriwal likes Shakira’s hips?”  “Because they don’t lie”. I had to tell him he was the 123086 person who has cracked that joke, ripping it off from some twitter Retweet. There are also innumerable lunch table conversations on why AAP being left, right, center, middle, straight, hexagon, octagon is all wrong and why they should be this real ‘Globe’ of a party.

The other group are these patriotic, learned , NRIs sitting in US who somehow seem incapable of closing  ndtv.com and ibnlive.com. They want to reform me through Facebook status message by telling me what is wrong  with AAP, with BJP , with Congress, with Shahrukh Khan,with Sonakshi sinha’s forehead, with Huma Qureshi’s lips. Dudes, please stop, I am the one who can actually go and vote or not-vote in the upcoming election. And No, you can’t vote through FB. Neither can you tweet your approval during the election.  And frankly nobody cares.

My tipping point was during my project review yesterday. As usual the meeting started 15 minutes late, because human beings have not figured out how to set up a fucking projector to show a simple Power point slide on a screen. Then it finally started and we were mindlessly fighting over issues that no one knew who was on which side. Suddenly the projector switches off. This is when my PM, cracks the howlarious PJ, “So Amjad, are you going to do a dharna against the projector’s dishonesty, there is some free space  outside the GM’s office” and all the people in the room laughed at the joke. I didn’t know if I should feel angry at the joke or sad for the people laughing for it.  Come on man, that was the limit. I can no longer tolerate AAP taking over my job and my facebook. If I had any other significant aspect to my life, I am sure AAP would take that over too.

I am done. I am leaving Bangalore and heading to Sikkim. I am sure, nobody in India, gives a fuck as to who is ruling Sikkim or Arunachal Pradesh. That way, I will atleast have some peace of mind and not have to tolerate jokers of various kind including the patronizing arm-chair patriots. *End of Rant*

We at Faking news, feel deeply sorry for this young Amjad and hope BJP & congress trolls take over the comments section of this page. As a starting topic, you can debate  if Amjad is really a secular person or if he should leave India and go to Pakistan. Else we can let Goddard’s law take over and start on why Modi will save the world in his Superhero avatar- the Chaiwala wearing Khaki Shorts. Other normal people can now go back to searching “Dominika Cibulkova hot” and look up her images.