Mumbai: A 25 year old Software Engineer, Hashish (name changed on request) working for so called largest consulting company has reportedly asked his girlfriend of 4 years to serve a one-month notice period before breakup. This, according to him, will help him mull over the move and begin work on the technicalities. The exact cause of the break up is still unknown (some sources say that Hashish being an SW engineer was itself the biggest reason for her girlfriend to break up). “I was about to buy a women’s grooming kit from Flipkart in 40% off and 1000rs cashback offer using my credit card when she suddenly came and announced the break up. I asked her to back up the talk with a formal break up letter,” claimed Hashish.
“I want to end the relationship on a good note. Girls usually prefer recommended separated boyfriends. so I have also asked her for a letter/email/WhatsApp ping of recommendation which will help me in my next relationship. With a letter in hand I will have a written proof of my credentials to give to prospective girlfriends”, Hashish rationalized. “Look, all these are standard corporate practices which ensure that breakups are very smooth and professional. Why not introduce them into the private sphere also?”, he wondered.
Hashish was also about to broach the issue of reimbursements that he is entitled to receive upon break-up, but his aggrieved soon to be ex-girlfriend started blocking him on social network and IMs. Is this some kind of E-Divorce trend going on?”, he said.
Much chastened by the experience, Hashish wants to have his next girlfriend sign a two year minimum employment agreement period bond. This, according to him, will ensure a hassle-free relationship. “Frankly speaking, the news of the previous break up came as a sudden shock. I got up at 2 am that night and felt sort of concerned that I am single now. No late night calls, no reporting, no conflict management. It actually reminded me of the period when I was waiting for my Appointment letter from first company after completing engineering”, said Hashish.
“That’s when I decided that I need to think long-term about these relationships. I didn’t want to change my relationship status on Facebook every six months. Even my LinkedIn profile gets updated only once in 5 years,” he observed.
When asked whether he had found his next girlfriend, Hashish calmly replied that he had received many proposals but he was looking for a “relationship-from-home” option just like “work-from-home” so that he can save on some of the expenses.