Goa: After the shocking discovery made by our Hon’ble Minister Smriti Irani, that a camera had been recording people changing clothes in the trial rooms of the FabIndia showroom in Goa, the minister has now fired her former friend, philosopher and guide, guruduv Sri. Jagat Dev.
Sri Sri Jagat Dev is none other than the famous astrologer who had predicted that Mrs. Irani would someday be a union minister (which she is) and had further predicted that she will also be the President of the country (many people, including Advani and Navjot Singh Siddhu, refuse to believe this!).
Mrs. Irani in an exclusive interview to the Faking News said, “After the discovery of the hidden camera in the show room, my first reaction was how could Guru Jagat not inform me about this? He knows everything! In fact, he knew the ‘World Cup 2003’ result long before Kohli was born! As soon as I had asked him after the final match, if he had known that Australia would win? He said “Yes! Obviously I knew”. When I asked him after visiting BARC last month, if he had known that in the fusion reactions, a Tritium and a Deuterium react to produce a helium atom with 3.5MeV energy and a charge neutral neutron with 14.1MeV energy? He said ” Yes! Obviously I knew!” He knows everything! Then he must have also known about the FabIndia Peep Camera? How could he not tell me?” . Mrs. Irani, who has had years of experience of enacting an ‘adarsh’ bahu in a Hindi sit-com was visibly disturbed. Wiping her tears, she said “This is a complete breach of my trust! I could not any more talk to Jagat after this. I have now taken him to the court to explain himself! He definitely had ill intentions and vidhi ka vidhata unhe maaf nahi karega!’
In the mean while, Sri Sri Jagat could not be reached for any comments. His followers informed that the famous Gurudev has entered a Samadhi and has also imposed on himself a Maun Brat! Our secret sources say that he is now trying to predict his own future. However, one of the followers on the condition of anonymity said “Guruji is the greatest! When some of us asked him if he had known that behen Smriti would have acted like this, he said ‘Yes! Obviously I knew!’. Did you see his greatness? Jai Jai Guruji! Jai Jagat Guruji!”