Sunday, 17th December, 2017

Slaps to Replace EVMs in 2014 Elections

17, Oct 2012 By Saurabh Kumar

After ten long hours of brain storming the UPA meeting at Sonia Gandhi’s home in New Delhi, government in its yet another attempt to implement transparency in the electoral system has announced that the use of EVMs will be put to an immediate end starting the 2012 elections.

The EVMs have shown to be faulty at various locations and considering the not so bright technological future of India their use has been banned. Instead, the public can vote by slapping the candidate, who they think would be least corrupted in the coming five years.

While announcing the news, Mr. Digvijay Singh said this decision was taken as a response to the anger among the Banana People who are mislead by people like Arvind Kejriwal and Anna Hazare. He further added that this genius idea came from none other than Rahul Gandhi.

However, Rahul Gandhi was unavailable for any comments as it was his Bournvita time after which he is scheduled to play LUDO and watch POGO channel with his sisters.

“Are you kidding me? If you count the number of pics on Facebook only that says abusive things about us and slapping people like Madam Sonia Ji, Rahul Gandhi, Digvijay Singh, it would go way beyond the total population of India,” commented Mr Kapil Sibbal after being asked if the change would increase their chances in the upcoming elections.

“The public wants to slap us and we will use it in our favor,” said Mr Sibbal who admired Mr Arindhum Choudhary who helped Mr. Rahul Gandhi with this brilliant idea. He revealed that Rahul Gandhi had went to meet the IIPM students and gave a 3 hour lecture on “No Talent can take you as far as your Surname can”.

However the secretary of Arindhum Choudhary has claimed that it was Rahul Gandhi’s modesty to come and meet us. Sources tell that Mr. Robert Vadra the honorable Son-in-Law of India also accompanied Mr Gandhi and himself delivered another lecture on “Entrepreneurship through Marriage”.

After being asked if he would like to contest the forthcoming elections, he said he was open to the idea but any final decisions would be taken by the Congress party people (which he later clarified only included people with Gandhi Surname).

BJP was however very open to the idea of implementing the slap in the elections. We have lived up to the people’s expectations by watching porn in front of the parliament, I don’t think we should have any problems in getting most number of slaps, added the party Chief.

(the reporter blogs here : saurabh526.blogspot.in)