Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Single males to go on indefinite hunger strike as RPS(Resolution Prevention Squad) doesn't help them find girlfirend

03, Jan 2014 By chaitu

Bangalore. In an event where government of India declared a Resolution Prevention Squad(RPS) to prevent people from breaking their resolution, not more than 2 hours of formation of the group 34,98,678 phone calls were made to 404 by single males across the nation as they were at the edge of breaking the resolution of finding a girlfriend atleast this year.

Soon the lines were too busy that booking a ticket in IRCTC could have been much easier than connecting to 404. Within no time the lines of the RPS crashed leaving the officers and the team bewildered by seeing the response from the people.

Shocked by the people’s response Susheel Kumar Shinde called for a press meet at 4am this morning to declare that RPS will not help people in their resolution of finding girlfriends. As the probability of people breaking the resolution is very high and the squad’s available in our country wouldn’t be sufficient, they have to take support from other countries.

The time Home minister called for a press meet, there was no immediate reaction as most of the males were busy either puking or dancing to Lungi Dance or crying/laughing for no reason or talking deep philosophy and the shy people were in a dilemma whether to send or not to send a text to the girl they know.

So no one batted an eye but when the hangover slowly started to pass out this news came as a shock to the single males.Unfortunately all those texts and mails were saved to drafts.

By 8 am single males formed into groups and started their protests across the nation. Unfortunately most of the FN’s reporters were also part of those groups as most of them were single. A police officer from Bangalore talked to faking news saying “there are more single males in our country(most of whom were IT professionals or Engineering Students) than the street dogs in the whole nation. Bangaloreans made more calls than males from any other city.This proves that professionals here are justifying the statement Engineers just get paid, but they won’t get laid.”

A 27 year old IT Professional from Pune talked to faking news saying “Just because Lakshmi aunty showed off in a family gathering by showing her Sodexo cards which were given by her son and just because Garima aunty showed the photos of her son with a white lady who was his client, my parents forced me to do engineering, darn it.

Now that there are more engineers in India, girls have more options than the programming languages tutorials available in”. Another single male who is an engineering student addressed the group of protesters “enough of our painful days full full of google searches and clearing histories of our browsers after those searches.Enough of ctrl+shft+n, enough of imaginary girl friends making our right arms strong, there is no turning back this is it. The future is ours, let’s do this”.

After this historic speech people gave him a standing ovation while most of the protestors were in tears.