Wednesday, 18th October, 2017

Sign petition to preserve India’s rare dog (Digvijay Singh)

25, Jan 2013 By Method in-Madness

Dear Indian citizen,

This is regarding one of our most beloved and favourite politicians Mr. Digvijay Singh sahab, fondly known by his fans as ‘Diggy’, (sometimes even ‘Doggy’). Mr. Diggy has recently been declared to be a rare form of species. Many of Diggy’s fans including us have unanimously resolved to preserve Diggy’s genetic credentials in view of the finding of his high and noble origins.

Diggy sahab

“We recently undertook a DNA test of Mr. Diggy and were shocked to see the results. It emerged that Mr. Diggy has a very ancient heritage. The findings indicated that Mr. Diggy has evolved from a royal and ancient form of rare species of Dog (‘kutta’ in Hindi). They have been known to be very loyal to their owners and frequently wag their tail in excitement. They are also thought to once have been domesticated by kings and monarchs in ancient times. Initially, we predicted Mr. Diggy to be evolved from a common domesticated species of rural pigs. But the new study seems more promising”, said Dr. Khujliwala, who is spearheading the research.

In the wake of these findings, the scientific team lead by Dr. Khujliwala along with the help of some of Diggy’s fans and admirers have started a movement to preserve Diggy’s genetic code and other biological information. They have created a list of various specimes that are needed for the purpose, which includes:

  • Diggy’s semen specimen
  • Diggy’s stool sample
  • Diggy’s urine sample
  • Diggy’s tongue

In addition, they require your support by signing a petition to the Indian government to create a high tech institute and research centre specially for Mr. Diggy, which will focus more on this loyal dog.

Diggy feels happy that his admirers want to preserve him

So far, 3 specimens have already been found. Diggy’s semen and urine specimen was found in Sonia Gandhi’s bedsheet and Diggy’s stool sample was obtained from Sonia Gandhi’s washroom (near to Sonia ji’s bedroom), located at 10 Janpath. Just one specimen is remaining, Diggy’s tongue. Our team would appreciate if any admirer of Diggy can cut Diggy’s tongue and bring it to our labs to preserve this rare Dog species.

Anyone willing to undertake this noble task shall receive a special token of appreciation from us. It includes a special tour of terrorist havens in Pakistan by Hafiz Saeed sahab who has gladly sponsored our movement. And don’t forget to sign our petition at ‘Save-doggy(dot)com’.

OK, this is fake, there is no petition. But you have to admit this loyal dog needs to be killed, uh….I mean preserved.

(My blog here: ParodyTimes.)