Sunday, 20th August, 2017

Sharapova adds fuel to the controversy, claims to know KRK

09, Jul 2014 By CA Neetish Sharma

In what could possibly be described as an another major blow to Sachin fans, Maria sharapova has added further to the ongoing ‘I-don’t-know-sachin’ controversy by claiming to know Bollywood actor Kamaal Rashid khan.

Now, this new controversy has erupted after tennis ace was reported saying  “I know KRK, ” while answering a fuming ‘Time Is Now’ Journalist who was continuously hounding her ever since the controversy first sparked.

Maria Sharapova
Maria, ye tune kya kiya.

“I first saw a film flax affixed in a Dubai mall during last winter, that is when I developed a taste for his movies and gradually became a huge fan of his acting & of him of course,” she further added.

Meanwhile, these comments from sharapova are perceived as a major shock not only to the already infuriated Sachin fans who, as sources say, are planning to hold a massive protest outside her residence in Sochi, Russia.

“She, by saying so, has shaken us to the core,” said Prem, a Bollywood movie buff who clearly looked depressed. “Till now, we only followed SRK and his likes in the industry, but she has forced our collective conscience to rethink about our assessment of KRK and his acting prowess,” added Prem while shaking his head.

On the other hand, enthusiastic Sachin fans continue to protest relentlessly. Faking News talked to one of the Sachin fans at Jantar mantar, who had gathered there impromptu, protesting against her recent remarks.

“How can she be so cruel ? She seems to know almost anyone & everyone from India but not our beloved Sachin paji,” Rohan, 22, an IITian yelled almost in tears. “I would have no option but to abandon watching cricket completely if I, god forbid, ever came to know she even knew Ram babu & Ghisalal,” added a raging Rohan before he bursted into tears. “They are  our ‘Thadiwala’ & ‘Istriwala’ respectively,” explained Rahul, his roommate who was trying to console Rohan.

Our Faking News special correspondent managed to creep into an another bunch of protesters who were shouting slogans in chorus and invoking Sharapova’s parents intermittently.

While one of them, who appeared to be leader of the protest group, revealed their further course of actions. Addressing the gathering, he exclaimed, “I have just talked to AAPutosh Ji. He has assured us of every possible support. By the grace of god, soon, we will launch the offensive. May the force be with us,” he ended saying so.

When asked about what they are upto,  Arvind, who introduced himself as leader of the protest group, explainedm “We all are Aam Sachin fans. We can’t take this lying down. We are going to resist. Hence we are arranging a 7 day crash course in Stone pelting & wall climbing for all the angry sachin fans. The idea is to send these fans into batches of 10 each all the way to Sochi, as guerrilla fighters where they would pelt stones at and climb up the walls of Sharapova’s mansion.”

Replying to the query of who would be mentoring ? Arvind, out of sheer delight, said “We are hiring the world-renowned stone pelter & wall climber AAPutosh Ji. I ahve already talked to him. He is an artiste par excellence, you know. His wall climbing skills can put even spiderman to the shame. He will introduce these amateurs to finer nuances and intricacies of stone pelting & wall climbing.”

“We will start sending these guerrillas on mission as and when the first batch passes out,” he ended the conversation saying so.

Meanwhile, on the other side, In a bid to get a reaction from noted Bollywood actor KRK when faking news contacted him, “He’s in hospital,” was the reply of the other person who received the call. When asked to explain about what had happened, he just hung up the phone.

Our faking news special correspondent immediately rushed to the hospital to investigate further about what had happened. Our correspondent got hold of Hasan, a friend of KRK, who was care-taking his injured friend in hospital.

“Bhai was sleeping peacefully in his room when i entered and broke this news of Sharapova being his fan. That’s when he suddenly started jumping up and down, tore his clothes down out of sheer joy and began beating his chaste and shouting (Dekh lo Twitter walo).”

“In a mad rush, he started running around the room and finally leapt out of his house. He then spiralled down the staircase and started running on the road stark naked, shouting Eureka-Eureka. I immediately ran after him, but this tiny creature was too fast to catch,” said hasan.

“Blinded by the jubilation of being recognised, he couldn’t see an open manhole while sprinting and fell in the sewage chamber from where he could only be rescued once the BMC personnel arrived,” added a sobbing hasan, looking at his injured friend affectionately.

This correspondent enquired with the doctor about KRK’s medical condition to which he said “Patient has fractured his left leg & got his right shoulder dislocated, will be fit & fine with 3 months of treatment and rest.”