In a recent survey conducted by our reporter, 95% of males have agreed that they have stopped seeing women and have instead started stalking men ever since the anti-rape law was approved.
The rest 5% reported that they stalk their managers (only men) to impress them and it is not sexual advance. Of the 95%, 66% accepted that they are following men in social networking sites too.
One of the person, Mahesh (name not changed), boasted, “Previously, I used to go behind Scooty. Now I go behind Avenger and Apache. Me and my gang of friends now assemble before men’s college every evening and sing songs from films when guys pass by. There was this NRI guy, who I stalked two days before. I chased him and tried to pinch his ass, but ended up keeping my hands inside his torn underwear, as his pant was below the hip.”
Our reporter does not want to reveal to the readers that Mahesh ate chicken in KFC after that.
There have been reports of men complaining about sexual assault and unwelcome advances from other men in their college.
Sakthi, a guy said that one of his stalker gave him a copy of Dostana and Brokeback Mountain urging him to watch those two movies. “Even my friend Vinod got love letters from senior guys,” he added.
When we approached Vinod, he was seen giving party to his friends. When Vinod denied to answer, our reporter asked to a certain guy who was doing a bottoms-up. “Vinod bhaiyya is happy that he got a love proposal in his lifetime. It doesn’t matter if it is from a guy or girl. A guy getting proposal ..love letter is an .. an.. eighth wonder,” and then he puked.
There have been reports that matrimonial sites are now displaying ads such as – “Wanted tall, handsome guy for a guy who is handsome, tall and Wanted.” Law makers are happy that domestic violence and dowry cases have gone down to zero stating it as a something that never happened in history.
Meanwhile, Government is in talks with Facebook and Twitter to change their code such that men cannot friend or follow women in those sites. One of the party leader commented on this in a poetic tone, “When we were young, we used to go behind women. Now men will go behind and woo men.”