Saturday, 24th June, 2017

SC to remove condoms from medical stores and install cameras in bedrooms

20, Dec 2013 By sarab

New Delhi. In a move which is criticized by some as Taliban-like , the apex court of India has decided to revoke all condoms and contraceptive pills off the medical stores of company in an effort to curb ‘unnatural sex’ in the country. A country which is already shy on topics of sexuality and sex has receded more into the darkness by the latest move of Supreme Court .

Protests
Protests erupted over decision

The court maintained that under Section 377 of the Indian Penal code, all forms of sex were unnatural other than the ones which were penile-vaginal, man-on-top and lead to reproduction.

Since condoms and contraceptive pills are unnatural too (not found growing on trees), it follows even heterosexual penile-vaginal sex is rendered unnatural by the use of condoms or other artificial means.

Gay couples are terrified while Heterosexual couples are scared that now their sex ventures may lead them being taxed with a child everytime they dare go intimate.  Swami(?) Ramdev, the yogamaster(?) has lauded the decision . “Sex is for procreation, not recreation . I have never had sex but I have more experience than any of you in the matter. HAHA” he was seen saying scratching his beard at the same time.

All other forms of sex including anal, oral, woman on top, doggy position, cowboy position , this position , that position and all sorts of sexual position are illegal and can land you in jail for lifetime. The judges seem to be lauding their move and their ability to make a mockery of democracy in world’s supposedly largest democracy, India .

The judges based their decision on a 5 million year old law a.k.a Section 377 of the IPC which maintains “whosoever knowingly has carnal intercourse against the order of nature shall be put in jail for lifetime or a term which could extend till ten years and/or fines”.

The judges have also instructed the central government to install cameras in each and every bedroom, washroom and every nook and corner of India in an effort to curb homosexual or heterosexual ‘unnatural sex’ .

Now , not only all the gay couples but also heterosexual couples now fear their privacy (the namesake one because real one is lost anyways). Their intimate moments may be under the scrutiny by the government officials.