New Delhi: With each passing day Rupee is touching a new low and breaking its previous record. It has truly emerged as the Sergei Bubka of currencies. People are saying Dollar is on an escalator, Rupee is on a ventilator, nation is in ICU, we are in coma, onion is in showroom but Phir Bhi Mera Dil Hai Hindustani.
On being told this a visibly angered Digvijay once shifted his anger from Modi and commented, “Fall of Rupee is actually a revenge ploy by ‘Dollar and Euro’ because we have made underwear brands out of them, but remember this Rupee is and will be a sau taka tanch maal” (which was hours later decoded by trade pundits with advanced modern day gizmos as a Rupee today will be equivalent to Rs. 100 tomorrow).
Rahul Gandhi also commented on the fact by saying, “This fall is actually a bonus on Indian economy as now the 2G scam which stood at 44 billion dollars is now only 28 billion dollars. Even the Bofors scam is devalued and Robert Vadra’s scam has become inconsequential, so India is actually making a profit.”
“We are all aware that corruption is pervasive. It operates at every level. The poor may carry its greatest burden, but it is an affliction that every Indian is desperate to be rid of. It doesn’t matter how much wisdom you have. If you don’t have position, you have nothing. That’s the tragedy of India. So we we have taken the pain of doing this Herculean task for the billions of Indians.”
P. Chidambaram recently rubbished the remarks that we are facing an acute situation like the 1991 by saying, “I have a fool proof plan. I will be flying to America and tie a Raksha Bandhan to my American counterpart as a sign of increase in trade relations. This will stabilize the current scenario and Rupee will be saved.”
The economists all over the world were looking at it as a very strategic and diplomatic move. Dr. Amartya Sen said, “Chidambaram is doing the right thing. It shows how adept he is at his duties. The only way to save the Rupee is to have it tie the rakhi to the Dollar and say, Meri Raksha Karna!”
He compared it with the “Kerala Experience” and said this high social tie ups would result in growth and it’s a role model for other backward nations, which are in minority, to follow. He concluded by stating, “This is a more secular approach. I would not like nations which generate concern and fear on the part of minorities.”
On hearing this Rakhi Sawant commented, “That’s why I fail to understand as to why no one has offered me roles like the ones offered to the legendary actor Smita Patil. All thеѕе people – thе Sheilas аnd thе Munnis – аrе аll paani kum chai (insipid). I аm аnd wіll always bе thе original item girl. I am a national treasure.”
But the reports are now confirmed by an Congress Spokesperson that the trip of the finance minister had to be called off as the international flight costs have shot up due to rupee fall and it is beyond the financial minister’s financial status to buy a to and fro ticket and in addition also pay for his and his family members’ accommodation in USA.
Though the ministry had sought options of getting involved in a rakhi scam of miniature proportions to resolve this issue, it is yet to get a final nod from the Congress president who is calculating the revenue that it can generate and whether or not it’s beneficial for her party’s resume to get involved in such petty scams.
Mr Kapil Sibal said that they are considering the options of getting this done under the LTC scam rather than creating another portfolio. He confidently added that there will be zero loss to the Government on taking this step.
On the other hand the students are for the first time celebrating the fact that Newton saw the free fall of an apple and not a rupee or else he might have created a few more laws of motion like “If anything falls at the speed of Rupee, then the rate of loss will transform its state to rate of profit.”
The tourism department is on a high as the foreign tourists influx has increased. Though the security of foreign females are still an issue, the budget travelers are considering India a land of heritage and a suitable holiday destination.
Even the Indians who were planning trips to USA, Europe and UK are re-planning their vacations and Kerala backwaters are becoming a hot spot for them. People who were having a low budget foreign trip are crowding the places like Puri and Darjeeling.
An upbeat officer from travel ministry said that they are hiring BRO to make signs for the roads like, “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers, visit India.”