Tuesday, 22nd August, 2017

Royal treatment for MPs in private airlines

02, Feb 2014 By Prasad NP

DGCA or Director General of Civil Aviation has proposed Royal Treatment by private airlines to our esteemed MPs or member of Parliament.

We say also because  our MPs who are here to be served by people of this country are used to Royal Treatment by bankrupt Maharajah of Indian Skies , that they feel depressed when the private airlines treat them like  cattle class.

So here are some of the proposals that the DGCA has given

  • Special access to airports
  • Free snacks while they wait for there Pushpak Viman to take off.
  • While the MPs munch on the free food and snacks the airline staff will check them in. No standing in Q for the VVVVVVVVVVVVVVIPs
  • Same  VVVVVVVVVVVVVVIP treatment needs to be given when they land.

The private airlines have swung in action and are preparing a list of favorite snacks of each of the MPs which ranges from  cattle fodder in case of Lalu Yadav to Coal mines in case of some of the senior MPs from the ruling party.

Saffron brigade  has demanded that all snacks served should be made only from Shudh Desi Ghee made from Cow Milk as GO Mata is the only source of pure milk.

It is not clear what DMK has to say about the same as one of their members family now owns one of the private airlines.  But some of the MPs are not happy with the provisions of the DGCA recommendation and they are saying “ Yeh dil Mange More

One of the MPs mentioned these privileged are not enough, as an esteemed servant of the people of this country I always travel with an entourage of 10-15 people.  What do you expect while I munch on the free snakes my followers will look at my face? I demand on behalf of a billion hungry people of this country that not just the MP but all those who are traveling with him should be given free food.  He also added that he does not care if the food is made from shudh desi Ghee made from Cow Milk or not, as long as it comes only from a 5 Star hotel.

He also added that a lot of times the flights land late in the night, now ” Do you expect me to wake up Mrs. MP and cook food for me in the night?, No Jee when our flights land in the night the airline should provide full dinner also. How can you expect a Janata Ka Sevak to sleep  on empty stomach ?” On digging a bit further the MP belonging to the state of MP ( which makes him double MP) told that he missed his flight two years ago and had to spend his own personal money to spend a night with his wife in Mumbai as  he missed his flight. Though the double MP never said this but it appears that he is OK to spend public money, but it really pinches when he has to spend his own personal money to spend  night with his wife in Mumbai.

Not to be left behind other ministries are working on their own privileges for the MPs

  • Ministry of Entertainment has proposed that MPs should be given balcony seat on first day first show for all movies and free food should be served to them during the interval by the multiplex staff.
  • Ministry of  Environment and Forest has proposed that whenever a MP is visiting a wild life sanctuary the Tigers and Elephants should play a football match for their entertainment.  Leopards are being instructed to pose for the MPs to click pictures for the privilege of our MPs.
  • Ministry of Tourism has proposed that whenever an MP visits a tourist site like  Taj Mahal or Golconda Fort they should be provided drive in facility right up to the monument. This way our esteemed MPs will not have to get down from the AC car to click pictures of the monuments. Special food from the historical era will be served to the visiting dignitaries when they visit the historical monument.
  • Ministry of Civil Supplies is looking at possibility of supplying the favorite drink of the MPs directly by pipeline to their plush bungalows in the Lutyens Zone and also in their constituencies.  All  beverage companies have been instructed to give a proposal for the same. It is expected that Coke and Pepsi will get tough competition from the local liquor baron Mr. Mallaya who himself is a MP. All MPs are expected to support the swadeshi Mr. Daroowala to promote the Indian Industry. Incidently the desi Mr. Daroowala aka Mr. Mallaya has to shut down some time back as people were worried that the pilots may be drunk on the booze that he was using to pay them in place of salary.

Ministry of Communication  has appealed citizens to send their proposals on  how to make life of our 800 plus Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha members more smooth. You can send your emails to bhukkadMP@lootbazaar.in

This is a spoof post based on original news item here