Saturday, 21st April, 2018

Real langurs attack fake NDMC langurs

01, Aug 2014 By Kishore

The New Delhi Municipality Cooperation, RWAs in Lutyen’s Delhi and the VVIP Zone (including Parliamentary House) were shocked early this morning when men dressed a langurs to scare away monkeys (mostly rhesus monkeys or the laal muh ka Bandar) were surrounded and attacked by a group of actual real langurs.

“A group of around 50 or so langurs systematically attacked the 40 or so trained youths that were strategically placed around the VVIP zone, dressed in langur suites to scare away other monkeys, mostly rhesus monkeys from being a menace as they are scared of Langurs,” stated a visibily disturbed Jalaj Srivastava, the NDMC chairman.

“They attacked in small groups, I never saw them coming and before I knew it I was surrounded, they first took away my gun, tore away my langur suite and slapped me a few times, pulled my hair and snarled but Hanuman ji saved me as they only slapped me, scratched me and pulled my hair but did not bite me. They have really scary large teeth,” said Pavan Raj verma (23) one of the men hired to pose as a Langur.

Verma, along with 35 or his 40 colleagues hired to pose as langurs are being treated at Gangaram Hospital for cuts, scratches, bruises and have been given anti rabies shots.

Strangely not one of the fake langurs was bitten by the real langurs. Even stranger is that each one of fake langurs were disinvested of their guns (with rubber bullets) as soon as they were surrounded by 4 to 6 real langurs.

“They attacked out of the blue and before I could even aim and shoot one, the others snatched away my gun,” said Pritam (19) another fake langur who is so shaken up my the incident he has been chanting the Hanuman Chalisa and has quit his job as a fake langur.

The opposition walked out when Urban Development Minister M Venkiah Naidu reported this development as a sign of protest against the unusual cruelty towards the aam admi and the government’s “inability to even control the simian population and protect Indians from them” stated a member of the opposition.

In a five hour langur hunt, the NDMC, the volunteers from People For Animals (PFA) and Animal Lovers’ of Delhi (ALD) as well as a task force of 50 security personnel were unable to locate the group of real langurs who conducted the gorilla , ahem, guerrilla attack on NDMC’s fake langur ki toli!

In the whole baffling case of the Real VS Fake langur, the resident lal muh ka bandard of New Delhi are sure to be celebrating a win for the New Delhi Resident Monkeys’ Welfare Association!

for more by Simantini Kishore goto