Saturday, 17th March, 2018

Ramesh-Suresh apply together for a seat in DU

03, Jul 2014 By Chandraket Mall

With cut-offs in DU colleges soaring as high as 100%, it is but natural to elicit a strong reaction from different parts of the country. But, the quirky twin pair of Ramesh and Suresh, if you remember them, have taken to a completely different perspective to take advantage of the current scenario. The mentally nimble duo has applied together for one seat in a reputed North-campus DU college.

When our reporter confronted the pair see-sawing in a park, they were hesitant at first but decided to share their ingenious plan after they were each given a Cadbury 5 star and a patloon for their dad.

From Archives: Ramesh-Suresh with their Dad’s (pitaji ki) patloon

Reporter: Before cutting to the chase, Ramesh, tell me how proud is your Dad of you?

RameshMy mom has always been supportive and proud of us but Dad once wore the patloon, we got altered for him, and that hit his self-esteem hard in the groin (quite literally). He was outraged and infuriated about the size of his favourite patloon. We tried blaming Master jee (The Tailor) for the mishap but one evening Master met dad in sabzi mandi and he sold us out!

SureshThen dad came home and beat our asses to numbness. I think I still can’t feel my nerves down there. *chuckles*

Ramesh: A week later, however, we did the same to Master jee. He can’t sit now! He is a tailor; he can sew his own! *bursts into laughter*

Rep: Who is the dumber of the two?

Suresh: He is! *pointing at Ramesh*

Ramesh: Yes I scored only 50% in my CBSE board exam.

Rep: And what about you Suresh?

Suresh:  I scored way more than him. 50.6%. That’s three digits; his is only two.

Rep: Then how are you planning to get in a DU college. You are aware of the 100% cut off, right?

RameshYes, we are! That’s why we have filled this form collectively. Our combined percentage is 100.6%, that is above the 100% cut-off, so I guess there shouldn’t be any hassles in us getting through!

Rep: How’s that possible? Don’t you know there are limited seats in each of this college? They reject even the 4.5starred students.

SureshWe are no 4 star students; everyone knows we are “The 5 Star Kids”. How can they reject us?

RameshAnd as far as the seats are considered, don’t worry about that. We take our own stools even in the Metro and also in the DTC buses! We can do the same here. If they are still concerned, we can get extra seats for more students too.

Rep: What will you do if you are somehow rejected?

SureshWe will open our own colleges – St. Suresh College and Lady Shree Ramesh College of Commerce – and not give admissions to anyone. That will be the perfect vendetta!


Sadly, at that point our reporter couldn’t take it anymore so he ended the interview and left.