Sunday, 25th June, 2017

Ramanagara District Court issues summons to Barack Obama

30, Sep 2014 By MRP

Ramanagara. The District Court of Ramanagara, in Karnataka, has issued summons to US President Barrack Obama on charges of attempt to murder. This development has come about just two days after a US court issued summons to Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, but is said to be neither related to it nor inspired by it.

american flag
The flagpole that fell and caused serious injury

While not much was hitherto known about such a case, which has hardly attracted any attention so far even from the locals, the verdict has created ripples at the national and international level.

Being in the Ramanagara court to cover a case of a dog owner biting a dog, our reporter chanced upon this unusual summons case. As the petitioner himself was absent in the court room that was empty but for the judge and the advocates, this reporter took details of the petitioner and located him in a tea shop, after much asking.

Here is the transcript of the interview with Ganesh, the petitioner.

Reporter : Namaskara Sir, are you Mr. Ganesh?

Ganesh : Yes, Namaskara

“Sir, have you filed a petition against Barack Obama? In the district court?”

“What? What court? Who Obamma? I know no Obamma”

“Not Obamma….Obama, Barrack Obama, President of America. The court has issued him summons”.

“Oh….Obama…. America….yes of course. He is a murderer.”

“But…how can be a murderer? He is the President of United States of America!”

“So what? Even I am the president of our milk union.”

“Well sir, whom did he murder? And where?”

“Well…he did not actually murder. It was an attempt to murder.”

“Sir, it is very confusing. Can you please explain? When did all this happen?”

“See….Ramesh went to Chennai. That is when this happened.”

“Who is Ramesh?”

“Ramesh…you don’t know Ramesh…he is my second son.”

“Ok, but what has Chennai go to do with this?”

“You reporters don’t know anything! Of course, Chennai has got everything to do with this. Where else do you get American visa?”

“American visa?! Yes..yes.. you go to Chennai for it. You mean your son went to Chennai?”

“Yes, that is what I am trying to tell you.”

“Did he get the visa?”

“No!”

“Oh my God! Now I know. You mean your son went to Chennai for visa and some one tried to murder him?”

“Not him. It was Mahesh.”

“Mahesh? Who is Mahesh?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? But you are saying Mahesh was going to be killed. And you don’t know him!”

“Yes, that is true.”

“Sir, I am going crazy. Please elaborate.”

Ganesh sipped one more cup of tea, while the reporter waited patiently. Finally he continued. “You reporters ask too many questions but do not understand the answers. You then  ask more questions. Listen. Because of Mahesh, Ramesh did not get his visa.”

“Ok sir, but why? And the murder?”

“Because Ramesh attended to Mahesh’s injury and so lost his turn for the visa interview.”

“Oh, I see. Then who tried to murder Mahesh? I am sorry, Ramesh? Oh..no..Mahesh!”

“Obama was responsible!”

“What are you talking about? People will think you are mad.”

“No way. You yourself said the court has issued him summons. You think the judge thinks I am crazy?”

“Well, you have a point. But Obama lives in America. How could he have murdered or tried to murder somebody in Chennai?”

“I didn’t say he did it.”

The reporter was felt like pulling his hair and run away, but somehow managed to continue the conversation as he thought he could sccop out a story from it.

“Sir, please show some mercy. Tell me why you filed a case against Obama?”

“Oh, you want to know that? Sure. It is because Mahesh would have got killed and Ramesh did not get visa.”

“But how?”

“Look, don’t keep interrupting me like Arnab Goswami does. I will tell you all if you keep quiet. Mahesh was standing behind Ramesh in the visa queue. It was nearing closing time when suddenly the American flagpole in front of the consulate fell on Mahesh injuring him badly. Out of courtesy Ramesh helped Mahesh recover and by then the consulate gate was closed. So Ramesh did not get visa. Therefore I filed a case.”

The reporter could not contain himself. “Sir, how can you blame Obama if the American flag fell on Mahesh?”

“Why not? When milk goes bad anywhere in Ramanagara, am I not blamed for it, being the president of the milk co-operative? Obama should monitor all his offices. He should ensure all American offices are in good shape. This is sheer negligence. He is responsible for this incident, directly or indirectly. The buck stops there.”

Having got the answer to his question, the reporter asked, “Sir, what next?”

“Now that I have got justice in this case, I will file a case on Obama for refusing visa.”

“Whose visa? Ramesh or Mahesh?”

Sensing trouble, the reporter bolted from there, hoping to interview the judge who issued the summons.