New Delhi: Several Caste leaders with their warriors have organised a meet in the national capital today, much to the astonishment of the Indian politicians, media and public. “We were shocked when we could see warriors from different caste sit next to each other and discuss”, commented an anti-caste reporter who is also an expert in finding the caste of the person even without their surname.
The reason for their sudden meeting was revealed once their clandestine meet was completed. Several known faces, which were known to common public for arson and caste-based violence appeared before mics held by reporters.
Clearing the throat, caste warriors surrounded their stalwart warrior, Mignesh Jewani, as he adjusted his spectacle and grinned from ear to ear at his JNU bodyguard-uncle standing behind Republic reporter.
Mignesh read the resolution adopted by what he called ‘Caste Warriors Congress’ while denying beforehand that this has got nothing to do with the Congress party, while several known faces of Congress party fled the scene with their faces hid behind masks.
“We all were involved in some form of rebellion against this fascist Modi government. My friend Dvdik has shown our power against Gujarat govt, my friends from Rajasthan had blocked trains, my friends from Haryana played DJ while burning vehicles and my friends from Maharashtra has shone in the news last week.”, Mignesh blew a kiss to group and they cheered.
“Being violent is nice and cute and romantic. But one thing was itching our nose. What if we damage the vehicles of our own caste? Very Few cars have their caste name written on rear, so it is getting hard for us. Our dedicated caste soldiers approach a vehicle to smash and burn, but they hesitate because what if it belongs to our caste and we hinder their livelihood. Our aim is to just create havoc for other castes only. So, we are ordering this fascist Hindutva government to immediately pass a bill, even with an ordinance, to create Caste-based Vehicle registration number.”
Amidst wild cheer and applause, Mignesh concluded, “For example, if we see MH 12 MA 1234 it should be a Maratha guy’s car, as the law will assign MA to a Maratha, then we can do a hulk smash on the bonnet. MH 12 BR assigned to Brahmin, we pound that oppressing vehicle immediately. If MU code assigned to a Muslim, we just polish the car and do water wash.”
“If Government does not agree to our demands, we will organise a protest which will end up in violence obviously. By February, we want government to change the vehicle registration number of all existing vehicles marking their caste and religion.” shouted Mignesh.
Kmar Uhalid who was next to him shouted, ‘Bonnet tere tukde hoge‘ and JNU uncles joined the chorus.