Following in footsteps of self certified honest/moral/trustworthy/anti-corruptible/anti-liar/pro-anarchy mentor (#YoFakeriwalsSoHonest), a group of S/W developers from an IT firm named Protesting Solutions are planning to go on an indefinite anti-code strike against managers who demand code on time and ask employees to come on Saturday.
To counter this situation managers have also decided to sit on protest against the employees who are going on protest. S/W Developers have decided to wear white Nehru caps proclaiming “Mujhe chahiye Poora weekend“(I need whole weekend) and managers have decided to wear white caps proclaiming “Mujhe chahiye poora code” (I need complete code). This has resulted into a deadlock situation for the senior management of Protesting Solutions who are also contemplating on idea of going to protest against protesting developers and managers.
They say this move will bring every one on equal playing field and they will be able to understand the ground situation closely. The quote on senior management’s topi is still to be decided (though idea of “Mujhe chalana hai business” (I need to run business) is doing the rounds. When HR Head Manish Mannmaujiya was posed a question by our reporter asking him that this situation will lead to chaos and anarchy, Mannmaujiya replied “Yes he is an anarchist and today every m/c in Protesting solutions smells of an anarchist code being written on it, only anarchy can beat anarchy like a poison can beat poison.”
Sources say that all hell broke loose when a manager smelled of anarchist code on a developer’s machine. When manager tried to probe further , developer took out his white cap from the drawer , climbed on his chair and started shouting slogans “Vande Mataram and Bharat Mata Ki Jai” and in no time all the developers were wearing white topis and shouting outside the company campus.
When the victim developer was asked for his agitation and “Bharat Mata” related slogans , he again started shouting “Vande Mataram and Bharat Mata Ki Jai” . An on bench developer on assurance of anonymity told us that he doesn’t know what actually they are fighting for and what they want to achieve but he joined his fellow developers for protest as it’s a cool thing these days and you also get a chance to be on TV and be instantly famous on social media (why he wanted to be anonymous and be on TV at the same time is still a mystery). Onsite employees from US and Europe have also joined the protest via “SKYPE” & “iMessage”, though there demands are bit different and they will be sporting white caps proclaiming “Mujhe chahiye paisa aur izzat bhari ZINDAGI ” (I want dignified life along with money).
One of the onsite resource managers Ashaant Bhukhan who talked to our reporter said that he is baffled and angry at the demands of onsite developers as developers were clearly told earlier that they can either have a namesake dignified life at offshore or they can have money at onsite but developers agreed to chose the latter.”
After having a brainstorming session with other managers, a manager named Baal Kumar Vishwasghaat (who himself claims to be very smart & well versed time pass poet) proposed to counter the offensive of developers with similar tactics using street protests, sing-a-thons and also came out with a witty slogan for their topi.
Senior management at Protesting solutions(who are highly impressed by Fakeriwal’s people management and good administrative skills in New Delhi especially his successful way of solving problems on streets) after observing all the chaos came to conclusion that only counter protest can be effective in such a situation. They all agreed that any innovative ideas, policies, processes or statesmanship are a passe and are good for nothing in present scenario.
Senior management also concluded that following any kind of policy which puts any mild pressure on the brain may be counterproductive in such a situation. So they have also decided to get on out on streets and protest against the protesting employees. One of the shrewd and smart VPs from senior management Bigvijay Singh (well known for smiling when asked tough questions) had proposed that once everyone gets fatigued and bored of the street circus ,everyone will get back to work and problem will be solved by itself. He also said that high command is happy with his decision (we suspect he meant higher management).