In a shocking statement this morning, President Pranab Mukherjee said that he was completely unaware of rejecting Afzal Guru’s mercy petition.
He said, “As most other days, I did not have much to do this morning and so I thought why not try out the latest model red ink pens that were brought to the president’s office this morning. I am a big fan of ink pens and the most natural thing for anyone to do with a new ink pen is to randomly scribble his signature and that’s exactly what I did. I had no idea that I had signed on Afzal’s petition. In fact, I hated the models that were bought and so wrote ‘rejected’ on many old files to express my disapproval towards the purchase.”
The statement has clearly put in an acute state of fear the other death sentence prisoners who had sent their mercy petitions to the President. Sources say that similar ink pen purchases were also made just before Kasab’s hanging as well.
This has made the media go berserk over this issue and most channels are running shows like ‘Who is the master mind behind ink pen purchases?’
The BJP chief Advani, when contacted for a comment, said, “This is a detestable act by the president. He must tender a public apology. The President cannot and must not use an ink pen. This is a democracy and ball point pens are good enough for democracy.”
The Ministry of Home Affairs confirmed that the President will indeed issue an apology statement very soon. They also added that the President is currently rehearsing his apology statement and his facial expressions are being carefully monitored by his son Abhijit Mukherjee who is known to have mastered this art.