Tuesday, 24th April, 2018

Police reported least number of rapes in Delhi: credits to Smog

15, Nov 2017 By ASHISH PAWAR

New Delhi, Nov 11, 2017: Delhi, also known as the rape capital of the country, is losing it’s glamour. Police has reported a least number of rapes in Delhi in last week. The authorities got stumbled after knowing this fact as all of them were on holiday trip to Manali last week. They hired market research agency ‘Bazaaru’ to analyse the matter of facts behind this change. Bazaaru is world known company in Lajpat Nagar. They are experts in forged analytics. Some people have said that it is subsidiary of fakingnews.com.

Bazaaru reached out to few renowned rapists in Delhi and asked about how was the last week on Cruelty Happiness Index. (Cruelty Happiness Index is a measure of happiness derived from harming someone). All of them reported less than 4/10 Cruelty Happiness Index in last week. Generally they maintain this index at 8/10. All of them said that they tried very hard to achieve 8/10 Cruelty Happiness Index, but they were unable to spot girls due to smog. None of them were bisexual, so it was important for them to know the gender before rape. One rapist has admitted to mental hospital as he lost his mind due to least rapes in last week.

On the other side, Bazaaru also reached out to women and girls in Delhi. Women were very happy after the smog. They said that number of staring eyes at them was reduced during the smog time. One girl of age 26 said, “This is all due to #metoo campaign. Aakhir bhagawan ne hamari sun li (At last, God heard our prayers) and created smog to protect us from rape”. A women group reached out to AAP government to cancel the odd-even policy and let the smog increase in Delhi.

Now, it is interesting to see whether AAP government will try to reduce the smog so that Congress stops criticising them or they will try to keep the smog for women safety. Whatever they do, it is going to be hard for them to win in next election.