Thursday, 22nd June, 2017

Police crackdown on lazy citizens by fining “slow walkers”

13, Aug 2014 By mpsharmaauthor

Mumbai. Mumbai Police have taken the initiative to reduce the obesity rate among Indians by actively policing slow walkers on the city’s footpaths.

If any walker is found to be below the stipulated speed rate, an on the spot fine of 2000 rupees is given to the assailant immediately with no questions asked. The revolutionary campaign is being trialled on the popular ‘walking come samosa eating’ strolling pavements of Marine Drive and has been met with a mixed reaction from Mumbaikers.

“I find this to be a violation of my right to be lazy”, Mr Kumar, a common samosa eating and leisurely walker on Marine Drive, angrily attested. “I cannot even enjoy my samosa properly while I am walking. My wife only lets me eat this every second day because I lie, I mean, promise her that I am working my calories off while consuming the treat!”

Sheetal, a housewife and mother of two however, couldn’t be more ecstatic at the new rules. “Finally, the police are doing something worthwhile. Now my husband can no longer waste time while he pretends to exercise and will be home in time to pack the tiffins for Bunty and Pinky”.

A protest against the innovative regulations was organised for this morning however, all active participants were too busy enjoying their samosa’s to throw them at the Policemen stationed there.

“This extra exertion is bad for my digestion” a passer-by yelled at the policemen running after him with a baton to encourage him to move faster.

“Where is Kejriwal now? An “Aam Aadmi” is being tortured here”, the man in question shouted at Faking News journalists as policemen restrained him to the ground in order to handcuff him, making sure his half eaten samosa was left unharmed in order to ensure no human rights violations occurred.