Wednesday, 22nd November, 2017

Personal financial planning

06, Aug 2013 By urja

Q. I am a thirty-five year old man with a 6 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. I want to start investing for their education, marriage etc. I am an IITian working in an MNC in Noida head quartered at China. My wife is also working and we end up saving Rs. 20,000 per month. Please advice.

Ans. Hi man, first of all congrats that you are living, married, a father, earning and OMG saving as well and all this in India. Well let me tell you, considering the unemployed youth sitting at home you are the target for evil eye from 27 in every 1000(two years back it was 25) people in our country. You are advised to go to Nirmal Baba once every fortnight to get the broom swayed over your face to keep you safe and healthy.

Okies ….Please, as you have come to us for advice, and we not being part of any political party consider it our moral duty to help you in better than the best manner, just like Sansui has been doing.

See, your wife is working… so we would like to tell you that 19 per cent of the working women are having an extra martial affair so a humble suggestion, don’t let your wife use Ponds White beauty so that in case you do not love her truly, she is bound to find her sachha pyaar and that too in just a matter of seven days. We would like you to refer to Nirmal Baba to have that panacea which will always keep the two of you together.

Next thing, you have two kids, we advice you to not encourage them to become IAS officers owing to the fact that our nation is run by ministers who are very ‘well educated’ and ‘well-read’, thereby having their own school of thought, which strangely differs from that of these exceptionally intelligent general class people who manage to clear the exam and of the entire nation as well. You should take your kids to Nirmal Baba and seek his blessings to not inculcate any interest in academics, making them bullies and GOOD enough to join politics. This way, you don’t need to worry about the rising cut-offs or price of tomatoes. So chill…

You are working in an MNC head quartered at China. Oops… we understand, you are a bright professional and have inspite of so INTERESTING quota system have managed to do clear various exams but more importantly we are led by people who are awesomely peace lovers, and compassionate.

Foes come, attack, kill our young men guarding the boundaries… Ahaaa… nooo… they love Gandhi ji’s ’NO VIOLENCE’ ‘FULL TOLERANCE’. So, things can emerge out of nothing and one cannot predict the existence of your dear company’s stay here, so we advice you to first of all focus on a job change and then at a later stage worry about what to invest where. Moreover, don’t forget to go to Nirmal Baba for a better job change.