Monday, 23rd October, 2017

People from a new caste demand a special category for them: Ultra Low Caste

31, May 2015 By electroman

A Group of people from a new caste have demanded a special category for themselves. They need a category which has better reservations and payoffs. They want to be kept below the SC and ST. The category is Ultra Low Caste, ULC.

They want to be categorized as lowest of the low, something Neanderthal like.

People are gunning for this label
People are gunning for this label

They want reservations in reservation coaches. They want to walk in to any coach and take any berth they want. That is what they do currently, but when they get the bill passed, it will be a criminal offence to deny them your reserved berth.

They have given a deadline to the government to take the decision. If their demands are not met, they will start a protest so violent, that it will make a Gujjar protest look like a kindergarten fight. They have planned a sit in protest. They will sit inside the Sewer lines and block all the drainage water from flowing. The toilets will start clogging and the people who gave no shit will not be able to take a shit.

Here are the list of demands they have given.

  • All Government offices have to be made in to their homes. They will decide when to let people in or if they want to work.
  • All their children have to be given Government jobs on birth along with the ULC community certificate. That would make education unnecessary for them.
  • Every Bollywood movie should have at least 5 actors from their community
  • The Government should improve infrastructure of their villages so they can destroy it whenever they want
  • Communal riots, Vada Pav protests etc should include their community members no matter in which state it happens.
  • Each member of the community should be given 5 “Get out of Jail” Passes to commit crimes in other states and return without prosecution.
  • All buildings should have separate fire exits for their community members.
  • Shopping sites should give 10% additional discount for them on all products.