On the eve of 71st independence day, the Central government has ordered that only tricolour ice cream be served in all parlours. Also, Vande Mataram must be played simultaneously. Henceforth all other ice creams including the delicious black forest are banned.
BJP leader Amit Shah proudly announced “we will shove down your throats all such delicious new rules! Remember not to order vanilla or chocolate!”
Tax minister Arun Jaitley made a cool offer “Only 25% tax on the small cups. But 28% on large bowls!”
BJP MP Subramaniam Swamy demanded resignation of Arun Jaitley “he taxes kids eating ice cream! He must resign! Also, he doesn’t have an economic degree!”. To this Jaitley replied “a degree or a brain is not required to tax the
useful idiots citizens to death”.
Meanwhile, TN assembly passed another resolution to triple their salaries. CM Edapadi said “we need more salary to pay for the expensive ice cream we send daily to Sasikala who is in a Bangalore jail. Also we want to make up for future loss of income after the next election”.
CBI raided the powerful power minister DK Shivakumar of Karnataka. They found assets worth Rs.2000 crores. DK Shivakumar answered their questions “I made money by selling tricolour ice-creams!”. Based on his truthful reply the BJP high command recommended no further action on him.
In the populous state of UP, CM Yogi Adityanath gave exemption to the tricolour ice-cream. He said “Saffron colour ice-cream is also acceptable”.
RBI announced that it plans to print new Rs.500 notes in tricolour. The chairman said “these new notes can be good wrappers for the ice-cream!”
The ebullient West Bengal CM Mamata Bannerjee said “BJP can’t order us how to eat ice-cream! We will eat any ice-cream we want, though secretly I eat only tricolour ice-cream since I want to be PM one day!”
Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi said “Our congress flag is tricolour. BJP flag is not. Therefore, I should become Congress Party President, not Priyanka!”
The Prime Minister office reported “Owing to floods in Assam the PM won’t travel eastwards. Instead, he will fly to Switzerland to eat tricolour ice-cream in the Alps. Also, since Hungary and ireland have tricolour flags the PM will travel to these countries too and look for matching ice-creams. He will return in year 2019 in time for elections.”