Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

Parliament starts working

12, Aug 2013 By nandakumar

Perturbed by the disruptions in Parliament corporate India, as a part of their CSR, invited suggestions for uninterrupted and uninterruptible Parliament sessions. Here are some of the suggestions received.

1)Recording Devices India:  As soon as the House assembles, the recorded voice of the speaker will be automatically activated and will play out—Bhait Jayeeyae, Bhaiteeyae, please go back to your seats— continuously for 10 minutes, followed by “House is adjourned”. This will save the vocal chords of the Speaker.

2)3D Laser Co. India Ltd.  We suggest that a 3D laser hologram of the Speaker be projected on the Speakers chair as soon as the House assembles and the recording suggested above be activated after that. This will do away with the Speakers physical presence and they can carry on other important work in their respective chambers.

3)Water Fountain Manufacturers Assoc. of India: A three feet wide water pond with dancing fountains may be built between the well of the House and the Members seats. As and when the Members try to reach the well of the House, the Speaker at the flick of a switch can direct the water fountains to dance on the members and drive them back to their seats.

4)Roller Coasters Pvt.Ltd. Similar to what is provided on roller coasters and other high thrill rides, safety belts and harnesses should be provided for each seat. As soon as a member occupies the seat, the Speaker can activate the safety lock mechanism which will hold the member firmly in the seat, till such time the Speaker announces Tea and Lunch breaks.

5)Modern India Builders :  The well of both Houses of Parliament is at a lower level and the Members(heavyweights Politically and physically) find it easier  to saunter down the slope from their seats to the well of the House. However when the Speaker requests them to return to their seats, these heavy weights find the upslope an uphill task and choose to stay put in the well. Therefore it is suggested that the ‘well’ (hereafter called Tower) shall be located at a higher level, which will make it difficult for the Members to climb up the slope to lodge their protest.