Saturday, 17th March, 2018

Pakistan continues to bomb Indian territory, says Arnab provoked them

10, Oct 2014 By vargv

Islamabad. In yet another ceasefire violation, Pakistan continued shelling civilian areas near the Indian border. When the spokesperson of the Ministry of External Affairs questioned the Pakistani side he was surprised to get an unusual answer. “They said Arnab Goswami provoked them,” the MEA official told us.

arnab goswami
“The name is Arnab, Arnab Goswami”

Air Marshal Abid rao who was available for comments said, “He calls us on his show and blatantly insults us in front of the whole nation. He simply calls us to listen to him. He keeps on saying that Pakistan has lost the capacity for a conventional war. Maybe our shells targeting civilians will tell him otherwise.”

Another defeated panellist Pirzada told us in a fake accent, “He keeps on bringing out history. He constantly reminds Pakistan of the defeats it has faced over the decades- 1965, 1971, Kargil. We couldn’t even make movies on these wars. India is responsible for our backward movie industry. Maroof Raza defeats us with his intellect. He knows more about Pakistan than us. We simply cannot tolerate this. In Pakistan we gag the press, but here the press is gagging us.”

Arnab who is known to pass his own judgments and not let his panellists speak even got some hatred from our side of the border. “Well, this was bound to happen, you know. The Pakistanis aren’t as tolerant as the Indian politicians. He must be glad that Indian politicians haven’t bombed his office yet. Had he been in Pakistan, he would have been stoned in public,” Sanjay Jhau told us.

Our correspondent told the Pakistani side that this could have easily been avoided had the Pakistanis not participated on the Newshour debate. “We get good money to come on the show; it adds to our country’s low GDP. People have started recognizing us here in Pakistan; we can’t pass this opportunity,” said a panellist .

With Arnab scheduled to have a Frankly Speaking session with Pakistani dimwit Bilawal Bhutto, the civilians on the border are restless. They are pleading the government to stop this horror.

“We can’t imagine what the Pakistani army will throw at us if Bilawal speaks with Arnab. He doesn’t even have the intellect to have a sensible debate with Arnab. Please let Bilawal have a debate with Rahul Gandhi to have a level playing field. Both countries can have a good laugh and it will end the shelling,” a scared civilian told Faking News.