Friday, 23rd February, 2018

PadmaaVat-69, Padmaavat Sri and Badmash Sri

03, Feb 2018 By vidambanachar

Freaky News: A mind-jolting range of “Padmaavat Awards” announced on the 68th “Re-Republic” Day!

In urgent recognition of the ‘fundamentalist’ importance of the ‘hysterical’ movie “Padmaavat” for the emergence of a new “Psycho-Social Aadhar (Order)” in India, a certain “Government ‘off’ India” has just announced a magnificent range of “Padmaavat” – “Padmaavat Sri”, “Padmaavat Bhishan”, “Padmaavat Vibhishan”, “PadmaaVat-69” and “PadmaaVatsUp”– national awards for the makers of the movie, as well as for those bravely carrying the “Padma Cross” (“Lotus Symbol”; ‘Padma’ is “Lotus), across the treacherously slushy political battlefields of India.

The first three of the above awards carry prizes of “100,00”, “50,000” and “25,000” “ultravio-l-ent red” lotuses respectively; the “PadmaaVat-69” award offers a prize of “26 bottles of an ‘alcoholistic’ blend of Vat-69 scotch and lotus spirit”, sponsored by a foreign-based political apparatus called the “Jan 26 Re-pub-liquor Party”; and the “PadmaaVatsUp” award comes with the prize of a hyper-smart phone loaded with the world-winning “PadmaaVatsUp” software.

The chairperson of the “Padmaavat awards committee”, Ms. Padmaa SriWatson, has disclosed that two more outlandish awards will be introduced in 2020: “Badmash Sri” for leaders with sterling credentials in “mash”ing the heads of “bad” political elements, and “Badmash Vi-d-ushan” for “destructively creative artists” presenting “the most disruptive political satire of the year”.

Thanks to this newsbreak, the “Red Lotophagi”, i.e., members of a mob of “lotus-eaters” and  “lotus-votaries”, who are identified by their ‘screaming scarlet’ lotus marks and their trademark “Padma Vote”, are now flashing “one million Padma-watt” “power-smiles” on their visages, feasting on “Padma-oat” meals and painting the town red.

Unable to puzzle out the nuances behind this award, the foreign press is abuzz with the query: “Padmaa What?” And, “Padmanologists”, i.e., professionals with expert knowledge of the mysteries of ‘lotus’, have rushed into “Padmaasana” (the yogic “Lotus Pose”) to decrypt the complex after-effects of this explosive announcement.

Postlude:

* Needless to add, the above awards are tightly linked to “Aadhar”, plus a heap of other cards, including the “not-yet-discarded” postcard and, of course, the imperishable playing cards. The awards are also authorized by the “PadmaaVatican”.

* The celebration of R-Day in 1951 was “the first Re-Republic Day” and in that celebratory reckoning, ‘26 Jan 2018’ happens to the “68th Re-Republic Day”.

* The lotophagi, or “lotus-eaters”, are a community of people who eat ‘lotus’ and ‘enjoy’ a daydreamy life.

* Bhishan= Vibhishan= “dreadful”; Vidushan= “satire”.

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