Wednesday, 23rd August, 2017

Ooh……la…..la!

16, Sep 2012 By Rekha Joshi

The Dirty Picture released in France on 4th July. At premiere show, new France president François Hollande was specially invited with his companion Valerie Trierweiler. After watching the movie, Hollande was so much impressed with Ekta Kapoor, that he complemented Ekta saying, “C’est fantastique, marvellous, (it is fantastic, marvelous) but why there are not kissing scenes In your movie? You can have such scenes in your next movie”. Ekta thought, how to explain him the “cut –cut” policy of our government.

Meanwhile Hollande continued “We have a custom of kissing in our country. Have you seen me on my victory day how Valerie had kissed me? I will provide you a video from news channel. I can help you for such scenes but at present I am loaded with so much responsibility and you know the euro crisis….ah.. but I have a brilliant idea, you can contact Mr. Sarkozy. He is very much free now. He would be ready to act in your film, and you know his wife Carla Bruni, she can also join you, and she is a fantastic singer. You will get everything under one roof but at present his house has been raided so wait for few days”. Ekta replied, “Wow, that’s a good idea”.

Valerie was not feeling comfortable with Hollande’s so much interest in Ekta’s film. Hollande was very much impressed by Vidya Balan’s acting. He asked, “where is Vidya?”. Ekta replied, “She is too busy now with so many film offers, so she couldn’t come”. Holland said, “But I would like to meet her, please if you can call her tomorrow”. Ekta called up Vidya and told her to come to France immediately. Vidya said, “hey Ekta, after Lavani, I have got an offer for Koli dance from bollywood, I am too busy”. Ekta said, “Don’t you know who is Mr. Hollande, he is the president of France, How can you reject his invitation?”. Finally Vidya agreed and came to France. Hollande was so much happy to see her. He greeted him saying “Bonjour, Vidya Balo..!”. “Bonjour Sir… but…”, Vidya hesitated “not Vidya Balo, Vidya Balan..Sir! “. “Oh Vidya”, Said Hollande, “we French don’t pronounce the word, the way they are spelt”. Vidya replied “Ok, ok Sir, I don’t know that”.

Valerie was feeling too much envious of Vidya. Hollande complemented Vidya, “you are so beautiful, what is the secret of your beauty?” Vidya replied, “French fries, Sir”. Hollande replied, “That’s great, that’s great…I am glad you Indian loves French fries and so you are beautiful! We will definitely talk to our commerce ministry to export French fries to India”. Then he asked Vidya, “Do you know the secret of my beauty?” Vidya replied, “No sir”. Plump looking Hollande said……”hahaha, same thing…French fries!” Valerie was now so much upset. Then Vidya said, “there are many bollywood heroines who are so beautiful and talented than me Sir, like Aishwarya Rai”. Hollande replied, “oh.. Aishwarya….. I know her, I have seen her at Cannes. She was beautiful before marriage and she is even more beautiful now, exactly like you, hahaha”.

All these conversation made Valerie very much enraged. At night she slept turning her back from Hollande. Hollande was so much in a mood of song ooh la la ooh la la.. that he started singing the song ooh la la..ooh la la.. in his dream. Valerie woke up and shook him up, holding his shoulders said, “François, what is this? Enough..enough…”, Hollande replied singing…” chhuna na chhuna na…. ne me touche pas.., ne me touche pas….. ! “

Valerie couldn’t sleep whole night. In the morning she immediately opened her twitter account and wrote, Indian bollywood actress Vidya is worsening euro crisis. People of France started asking who is Vidya and curious to know her, they went to the cinema to watch The Dirty Picture and all were coming out singing…ooh la la..ooh la la..!

The matter reached in the Indian Parliament about Valerie’s twitter message and Hollande’s reaction .Looking at Sonia, Manmohan Singh announced in the parliament,” I have already declared during G20 summit that India will contribute $10 billion to the International Monetary Fund’s (IMF) to tackle the euro zone crisis, India will help more in future if required, nothing will happen to any European country, Mera Europe mahaan”. Sonia smiled at Manmohan Singh and murmered…ooh…la..la!