California: The Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) has revealed a shocking research result that ‘the collective thoughts of Kashmiri Pandits that they should go back to Kashmir has resulted in environmental imbalance and resulted in the devastating floods’.
IONS, a metaphysical research institute based on California, is famous for its research on the impact of thoughts on people and they involve in researching all aspects of metaphysics. Previously, they had conducted research on how prayer brought floods and cure all forms of illness. Now, they were surprised by the sudden floods in Kashmir and while they were conducting study on the patterns of thoughts related to Kashmir and the changing climatic conditions, they stumbled upon the correlation between ‘thoughts of Kashmiri Pandits returning to homeland’ and the ‘formation of clouds and dislocation of tectonic plates’.
Jonah Mitchell, a researcher in IONS, said, “There are confirmed incidents of people thinking about good or bad to someone else and that happens as they thought. Thoughts have power to manifest itself. When thousands of people think about ‘something’, the power of those thoughts actually influence that ‘something’. For example, the 2001 September 11 attacks are not done by al-Qaeda, but it happened due to the whole American population. Actually, the Americans were too worried about the skyscrapers and their worries brought down the twin towers.”
After laughing, he continued, “Coming to the Kashmir problem, we were surprised by the sudden floods and the alarming rise in flood levels. So, we collected some data on the fragile environment of Kashmir and we came across this concern of the Kashmiri scientists about the impact of 40 ill-thinking Hindus trip on their fragile environment. With the help of thought-picker software, we came to know that most of the Hindus were thinking about the return of Kashmiri Pandits to the Kashmir valley. Similar to the Pandits return causing disaster to environment, the thoughts of Kashmiri Pandits plus other Hindus has caused this Kashmir floods. Their thoughts had influenced the cloudburst in Kashmir and a small displacement in the tectonic plates. Kashmir might get an earthquake soon.”
The IONS has issued a warning to Indian government to stop the return of Kashmiri Pandits to the valley immediately and arrest the people who even think of returning there. They have even assured India that they can give practice to Indian Intelligence officers and turn them into thought police. They have even shipped software that tracks Internet Hindus with such radical thoughts that might bring more natural disasters to Kashmir.
Upon hearing the news, Hurryup leaders voiced their concern for the existence of Kashmir and has met Pakistani leaders, urging Pakistanis to think of returning back to India, so that natural disasters may strike India. Kashmiri tweeters had expressed many paradigm to this situation, from disloyalty to effect of Pandits on ecology to demolition of polytheism. Meanwhile, reports from the meteorological department have expressed that ‘prayers have immediately stopped the rain and caused the flood waters to drain in a minute’.
A Kashimiri seperatist leader, wrote on Facebook post, “This is the worst flood in the past 60 years. When Congress was ruling India for 60 years, we did not have such natural disaster. Seems, even the God is angry with India being called Hindu nation and with BJP. Modi’s play with Article 370 caused this natural disaster. Kausar Nag yatra caused this flood. Ever since Kashmiri Pandits left the valley, there were no natural disasters in our holy land and with the talk of their return, see how disasters are happening. We now even have research study for proof.”
NDTV’s Sreenivasan Jain made an excellent statistical data of how HinduTvought (portmanteau of Hindutva and Thought) led to many disasters in Muslim & Christian majority countries and is bringing death to many liberals and intellectuals of India.
Meanwhile, followers of Asaram Bapu have started practising Noetic techniques and trying to secure the release of Bapu. One of the bhakt said, “We have lost our trust in Twitter. Instead of making trends, we are now going to think about release of our AsaramJi and he will be released soon.”