Wednesday, 21st February, 2018

No Modi wave in Pakistan says Manish Tewari

01, Nov 2013 By kaagemusha

Rubbishing all claims as “media hype”, Manish Tewari said that there is no Modi wave at all in Pakistan.

For a change.
Just for a change.

Bewildered media people bore quizzical looks on their faces ( apart from a gent with last name Patel who said that he was born that way ), trying to understand the context.

When they asked Tewari about what he was on about, the Minister said something incoherent and left the meeting. A senior party spokesperson who shall not be named, spoke on condition of anonymity, “Look, even he needs to speak truth sometimes. Parroting that there is no Modi wave in India makes him look like what he is – a duffer, so for a change he wanted to say something meaningful and truthful. He chose to state a fact that there is no Modi wave in Pakistan. This way you cannot call him a liar.”

He also mentioned that Tewari has been taking psychological counselling from Sibal because he believes that no one takes him seriously. Sibal, a reputed master of vacuousness  thus was his natural choice.

It was Sibal, it is reported, who told Tewari to start speaking small truths, which finally gave way to the statement Tewari made today about Modi.

It seems Sibal is making giant headway in helping his colleagues. He has, after much research and guidance from none other than Rahul, has provided a cheat sheet to Tewari with profundities only Rahul can think of.

A sample of his cheat sheet is in our possession, and which lists the following sentences Tewari has to memorize:

1. There is no Modi wave in Somalia. 2. There is no Modi wave in Russia. 3.  Almost 100% Brazilians will not vote for Modi. 4.  Modi does not star in Krrish 3. 5. Modi may star in a ‘Crush spree’, in a poll booth near you in 2014. 6. I am not as foolish as Rahul looks.

When pointed that all such sentences are bizarre, the spokesperson said that this the best Rahul’s  speech writers could do, and they decide UPA’s destiny, so what harm in deciding Tewari’s.

After propounding this unassailable truth, the spokesperson excused himself and locked himself with an aspiring lady lawyer in his chamber.

More details awaited.

Update : Pakistani intelligentsia, or what passes for it in that land, has called the report baseless. They say that in fact they will vote for Modi given his track record.

They said that given the complete absence of leadership in that country has necessitated outsourcing the PM job to India. They said that since they anyway print more Indian currency than theirs, they will also pay India for the job handsomely.