Following the revelation of the uncomfortable truth, that ugly women have never faced harassment on Delhi roads, a new women’s safety NGO is launched. “This is a model idea that will work for two purposes,” says founder and former actress Sundari Kumari. “We were inspired by Somnath Bharti and wish to embrace his party’s ideology,” Sundar Kumar, her husband says.
Their philosophy is that ugly women do not get eve-teased as miscreants are picky about whom they target. After all, no decent Delhiite, even a Sadak-chhaap one, can tolerate physical ugliness. They shall never stoop so low as to eve-tease an Ugly Woman, both say. Upon being asked to call it “sexual harassment” they go on the defensive.
“Please do not use insulting words like ‘harassment’ and cast an ugly, yes, ugly light upon this issue. This is just eve-teasing, an acceptable form of courtship!”, says Sundari. “Boys will be boys! This is not malevolent. It is a tribute to a woman’s beauty. One she MUST accept, or, you know, or else!”, says Sundar, playfully pretending to be dangerous.
The Kumar’s plan is to to use the repellant forms of ugly women to keep these ‘boys’ away, and also to give ugly women something to live for by involving them in this noble exercise to keep beautiful women safe.
Ugly Women will be made to patrol streets after dark. Obviously their dark skin will give them camouflage. Once the boys spot these Ugly Women, they will be repelled and run away screaming.
This will also save these innocent boys from having a criminal record just because some woman wanted her dignity upheld. “The worst is when some Ugly Woman makes such allegations and ruins the career of a potential Mawali,” says Sundari indignantly. Sundar says that Mawalis are vital to the micro-economy of roadsides. “Without their loitering, the tobacco-paan stalls and hooch bars will collapse,” he says,ever the businessman.
The Kumars dream is to involve Men’s Rights Activists at some stage and help Ugly Men as well. Sundar says emotionally that Fair and Handsome may have come late into the market , but Being Ugly will be there on time.
In other news, Delhiites were shocked at Somnath Bharti’s insinuation that some of them were ‘non-beautiful’ and are rushing to plastic surgeons in droves to rule out this serious medical problem. Being Ugly is already collecting funds for Cosmetic Surgery camps for the poor.