After the AAP tsunami and once-more-proven strength of BJP Ambuja cement dams in central Indian jungles, some of the soon-to-be-unemployed Indians have decided to approach Naukri.com in search of new opportunities. Few of those are listed here for the benefit of third front recruiters.
NDTV: Finding it increasingly tough to get anyone or anything supporting congress, the anchors and reporters are looking for other political bigwigs who may be in the need for image management. Potential Employers are Mamta Didi, Nitish Chacha, Mulayam Pahalwan, Sharad Cheeniwala & Kiran Seemawala. The criteria is clear. Only moneybags about to go into oblivion are targeted.
NaMo Twitter Army: Frustrated by the growing silence aka MMS from Gandhi Nagar, click happy mercenaries of twitter land are looking for some underdogs who needs to come in front. Their potential employers are Naidu HiTechwala, Krishna Bangalorewala and Ashok Davawala. The strength of this brigade lies in making mountain out of molehills and so the potential. Some are even looking to join NSA & GCHQ based on their social media aggregation experience.
Arnab Hallabol: Seeing the soft acceptances speeches of winners attributing their victories to aam admi, Mr. HallaBol is confused. He used to ask questions on behalf of Aam aadmi, but now how can he ask question of aam aadmi from aam aadmi itself? He has decided to lend his voice as consultant to Naxalites (They used NOTA maximum; Must be dissatisfied still), Windows Phone Users of erstwhile Nokia (About to be uncared like Vista and Surface users), Android 1.8 users (Unable to migrate to Android Kitkat) & Leninwadis of Ukraine.
Sting Operators: Considering that their paymaster will soon be jobless, They are now offering their services to Mahant Charan Das against ASI, Israel against Iranians, Obama against Asad, China against Airlines affected by its zone & IT department against MNCs affected by its notices. They are assuring to find the hidden treasures, hidden motives and dirty secrets of the hounded parties.
HTML Programmers: The political websites created in last 6 months are not going to be touched for next 5 years. They will now work for struggling auto companies. Expert in personalization, They are offering to make separate webpages for different flavors of the cars. Expect to see HondaAmazeDieselZDIJkTyre.com and TataNanoAwesomeGreenAndHungamaRedWithPolkaDots.com soon.
Funding committee members of Business houses: AAP has strongly threatened to make them useless. They are now approaching people in dire needs of funding. BB unit of blackberry has promised to make available all user data in return of fake uptake of BB handsets. Surface unit of Microsoft is offering free licenses of windows 8.1 & no surveillance via BSA for anyone buying Surface. WP will come free with it. Kingfisher airlines is offering something secret. Vijay Mallya will announce it with KFA’s final revival plans.
TV Spokespersons of Congress: They are looking for job in the PR divisions of Realty & Gutkha companies. Do i need to say anything more?
Few more may also be on prowl, but they may create too many enemies on social network channel by May 2014 like former CM of MP.
Few have ensured by their silence that no one will know what they are capable of except madam & party.
Some have went to TV studios so many times that they have forgotten what state they belong to. Their constant robotic praise of Shri Youth icon will mean that they will forget their own capabilities. Resume writers are going to have tough time identifying their strengths.
Few will decide to migrate out of India, but their constant recital of secular mantra will means that they will not be able to remember their own religion and thus gets rejected by only countries needing unskilled workers for being non-religious.