Sunday, 25th June, 2017

National Unity Day celebrated with fervour, creation of USSR announced

03, Nov 2014 By Surprised

National Unity Day was celebrated in India on 31st October to mark the birth anniversary of Iron Man of India Sardar Vallabh Bhai Patel.

By afternoon, shares of Iron and steel companies jumped by 200 basis points in anticipation of increased demand for Iron. Bipen Stockwalla of Dalal Street commented, “The new government wants to iron out the divide and rule policies of past government; we expect an iron bull running soon.”

In Delhi, Manish Tiwari and Abhishek Kumar Singhvi took the pledge of not criticising every policy on media and pledged that they will work for the unification of policies for the better governance. Arnab Goswami on prime time before a panel of Smriti Irani, Baba Ramdev, Pipi Goswami and Rahul Gandhi pledged that he will never provoke the participants and will always constructively unify the debate.

The PM announced that the states of Andhra, Telangana will be united with Karnataka and Kerala to create the United States of Southern Region (USSR) to mark the National Unity Day.  Chandra Babu Naidu, KCR, Siddaramaiah, Oommen Chandy will be making a joint statement at Tashkent.

In a related incident, Sonia Gandhi, Mamta Banerjee and Mulayam Singh Yadav went to meet Prime Minister Narendra Modi and pledged to unite for the growth of nation. Jayalalitha has sent her special greetings of unity to PM of India and the President of Sri Lanka.

A Pledge of Unity was enforced in all Government and Public Sector organizations. The government spokespersons who declined to be named commented that the response shown by the employees was anaemic. Officials struggled with the pledge taking as South Zone was provided with Hindi pledge while the North Zone was required to take the pledge in English. Some officials took the morning flight to return with the readable translation. A senior bureaucrat who wanted to be named commented that 15 million pamphlets of the pledge will be preserved in a specially constructed humidity and temperature controlled vault to be used next year in line with austerity measures being promulgated by the government. He commented the facilities will also be used to seat the 300 displaced bureaucrats from the Planning Commission.

In a one of its kind initiative all government departments have declared that they will work in unison and work for a common cause rather than working against each other. This was issued as a joint statement by all secretaries of all the departments. It is expected that an announcement will be made soon that a 25 years fixed tenure GoM will be constituted to make all state laws uniform and roll out a single tax policy across the country.

In the unity dinner organised by the politicians and industrialists in the presence of police and judiciary, National Institute of Tourism and Hospitality Management (NIHTM) created a special dish called Unicurry, to be declared as the Indian National Dish. Unicurry is a unique dish amalgamating Sambhar, Butter Paneer Masala, Sarson Ka Saag and Macher Jhol. It is served with Dhokla prepared in coconut oil.   The Unicurry is to be accompanied by a concoction of lassi and coconut water, to be declared as the National Unity Drink. A spokesperson of the NIHTM denied reports of guests being taken ill as malicious and promoting disunity.

Reports are coming in of breaking news where the Khans of Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Amir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Irrfan Khan and Imran Khan have pledged to appear in a movie, to be jointly directed by the Aditya Chopra, Karan Johar and Rajkumar Hirani. A spokesperson for the film while declining to comment on the heroines for the film mentioned that all options are open and prospects from Slovenia, Guangdong, Quebec and Nebraska are under consideration.

Topics:#Unity Day